10 Small Relationship Milestones That Actually Mean a Lot

Women who want children, how do you stop stressing about "counting back" and overthinking the time you'll need to start dating and/or hit relationship milestones to have kids by x age?

submitted by wonderland01 to AskWomenOver30 [link] [comments]

Women who want children, how do you stop stressing about "counting back" and overthinking the time you'll need to start dating and/or hit relationship milestones to have kids by x age? (/r/AskWomenOver30)

Women who want children, how do you stop stressing about submitted by ContentForager to mistyfront [link] [comments]

The 10th has been a day for big milestones in mine & my husbands relationship. Our first I love you was on a 10th, we got engaged on a 10th, and married on a 10th. We didn’t even realize till later on. When we received our resignation & it was dated the 10th we couldn’t help but laugh! Meant to be!

The 10th has been a day for big milestones in mine & my husbands relationship. Our first I love you was on a 10th, we got engaged on a 10th, and married on a 10th. We didn’t even realize till later on. When we received our resignation & it was dated the 10th we couldn’t help but laugh! Meant to be! submitted by kenai800 to exmormon [link] [comments]

Advice from a girl about girls

Hey guys I’m 15 and I’m straight up vibing and I’m well liked by all my dude friends so here’s some things that a lady would like y’all to know
-Please don’t send mixed signals! It kills us! If you like a girl, you can’t hint at it and not tell her. If you don’t like a girl, don’t hint that you do, even if you’re trying to make it clear that it’s a joke. It’s just confusing.
-You don’t have to be ripped with abs and super athletic. Just be yourself!
-It’s incredibly rude to assume a girl is on her period just because she’s a bit fussy. If a girl’s being fussy, don’t bring up their period!!!! Just back off for a bit to give them space or point out they’re being fussy. Usually they’re not even trying to be rude. Maybe they pulled an all-nighter. Maybe they failed a test. Maybe they’re just not in a good mood.
-This one is completely subjective but when it comes to dark humor surrounding sexism, quality over quantity. I personally love a good “women belong in the kitchen” joke, but it needs to be more than just stating something blatantly sexist and calling it funny or edgy. Don’t let your sense of humor become completely sexist, and don’t let your sense of humor become your personality.
-Referring to the last one, take cues when talking about sexist dark humor! I personally LOVE dark humor and don’t get offended whatsoever, but all people are different! If a woman isn’t laughing, looks embarrassed, isn’t responding to your jokes, isn’t firing back with more dark jokes, or is blatantly telling you to stop, take a moment to seriously ask if she’s uncomfortable and if she is, apologize and stop.
-If a girl is making you uncomfortable verbally or physically, tell her to stop!
-Not all girls are into wearing skirts or make up. Some are. Some aren’t. It’s that simple. That doesn’t mean that girls who aren’t, aren’t girls. It just means they’re different. That’s valid!
-THIS ONE IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!! If a woman says she wants to lose weight, DO NOT revert to telling her she’s skinny and perfect. It’s understandable that you want to help your friend have a positive body image, but if a girl could genuinely do to lose a bit of fat, you should be supportive and tell them that they can do it! You don’t need to be obese to lose weight. It’s ok to have ten extra pounds and not want to lose it. It’s ok to want to lose it. It’s your body. If you are genuinely concerned that your friend is pushing themselves to lose too much and they’re underweight, sit them down and ask them about it, or tell a trusted adult. Don’t lecture them or yell.
-Every girl is different in relationships. Some want to go on romantic dates and celebrate their 4 month anniversary with you. Some are fine just watching TV together and they don’t care about milestones. Ask your girl about it.
-Personal gifts are far more appreciated than chocolates and flowers. At least try to get your girl’s favorite type of flower. For example, if they’re into dogs, get them a doggy calendar and shirt or whatever. It makes us love you more!
-If a girl uses snapchat or instagram or tik tok, it doesn’t mean they’re basic! All of those apps can be used for socializing with friends and family. It’s called social media for a reason.
-THIS ONE IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!!! Stop using basic as an insult! The word “basic” has become derogatory and that’s not good for a number of reasons. Basic should be used to merely describe someone’s personality, but it isn’t used that way anymore. There’s nothing wrong with liking starbucks or high heels or watching make up tutorials. It’s just another thing a girl may enjoy.
-Lastly, every girl is different. Just make sure you respect the women you have in your life and make sure they respect you and add joy to your life, whether a friend or girlfriend
Thanks for coming to my ted talk :)
submitted by Sophai_Scribblez to teenagers [link] [comments]

Just learned my family was the victim of a "cultic" murder mystery from 1997

TLDR

In 1997, when I was 9, my 2nd cousin who was 19 was murdered.
Her murderer tried to throw off police by making it look like a cult murder by carving a strange symbol into her body.
The police think they know who the suspect is but 24 years later and still no arrest.
Her mother just died a few weeks ago never having closure. I'm trying to renew interest in the case.

Intro

I'll try to make this short.
I feel bad as I've been meaning to post this since I found out, but life gets in the way.
I live near Fort Smith, Arkansas.
A few weeks ago my mom told me about a family member being admitted to hospice.
I'm an only child and my mom is from a family of 5. So she's used to keeping track of everybody.
She mentioned "Yea, they never figured out about who killed Sandra's daughter, Tina...it's sad."
I was curious and that's when she showed me this newspaper clipping she had saved.

Quick Facts

Other information

Tina's dad is still alive though I'm not sure I've ever met him. But I've heard he's worked his whole life trying to solve this.
I think the most frustrating thing is that this article was published 4 years after it happened and the DA even THEN said:
" It is safe to say that we have a suspect, but our evidence is insufficient to go forth with the prosecution, and I am not in a position to publicly identify the suspect.”
And 23 years later still nothing.
I figured the least I could do was post it here and ask the reddit community for their insight.
I don't expect miracles but I figure it's worth a shot.

Relations

Tina = Victim
Chad = Boyfriend
Sandra = Tina's mother
Max = Tina's father
Debbie = Max's 2nd s.o./gf
Jeannie = Max's 3rd s.o./gf
Me = 2nd cousin to Tina

Timeline

1994
May 1996
August 1997
October 1997
November 3rd 1997
2001

Unofficial list of suspects

Chad Franks (Boyfriend)
Items of note
Debbie (Max's 2nd SO/GF)
Items of note

Present Day Communication

07/14/2020
After posting this, my mom talked with Sandra's sister.
"Now Max's wife Jeannie I feel in no way she was involved. I have met her and spent nights at their house when they lived in Florida.
Now the ex of Max's was a woman named Debbie. Now she was a suspect at a time I believe. I did meet her and she was jealous of Tina's relationship with Max, I feel. But she has since died in a car wreck. I have always felt it was her that did it. But the sheriff's office kept saying no concrete evidence but Max even believed it was her."
07/15/2020
Another message from Sandra's sister to my mom.
"I can't remember if she [Debbie] had a alibi, I will look in my papers tomorrow, ( [redacted] is asleep, he works nights ) I can't get to them right now.
As far as I know the autopsy report showed gunshot wounds"

The story from the 2001 article

Four years ago today, (Nov 3, 1997) the partly clothed body of Tina Michelle Payton, 19, was found on the living room floor of the farm house on DeKalb County 104 between Geraldine and Crossville that she shared with her fiance.
Payton had been shot in the hand, in the chest and in the head with a .38- or .357-caliber pistol. On her lower abdomen, carved with a knife or other sharp instrument, was a pattern of lines that appeared to form a cryptic symbol.
The gunshot through Payton’s hand was what investigators called a “defensive wound” because it appeared that she had grabbed the gun that killed her.
The doors were locked and there were no signs of forced entry. Payton lay on her back, nude below the waist, with the symbol clearly visible to anyone who entered the room.
The orderly appearance of Payton’s body and the symbol standing out against her skin led homicide detectives and the state pathologist to the same conclusion - that the woman’s killer had put her body on display and arranged the scene for maximum visual effect.
“The symbol was clean, not bloody,”
District Attorney Mike O’Dell said.
“It was clearly intended to be seen. Somebody meant to send a message.”
From that first day, investigators began a dual quest - to find Payton’s killer and to find the meaning of the symbol the killer had left as a signature.
They sent pictures of the symbol to experts in satanic worship, gang culture and tribal rituals.
Copies made it onto the Internet, and responses came in from many parts of the world.
In spite of hundreds of leads, investigators still do not know what the symbol means, if anything.
And in spite of a four-year investigation that has led to at least four states, nobody has yet been charged with the murder.
The house where Payton was killed had been her home for only about three months.
Her father, Max Payton, had bought the house and five acres in 1994 after he retired from the Air Force.
Payton, Max Payton’s daughter from a previous marriage, moved there in August 1997 from Sallisaw, Okla., where her mother lives and where she graduated from high school in 1996.
Her father said she had come “to start a new life.”
She took a job as a cashier at Geraldine Super Value.
Payton continued to live in the house after her father took a job at Tyndall Air Force Base in Panama City, Fla.
Less than a month before the slaying, Chad Franks, 22, moved from Sallisaw to live with Payton.
The two had had a lengthy on-off relationship, friends in Sallisaw said.
“Tina and Chad planned to get married,” Max Payton said.
“I was going to give them the farm, but I never got a chance to tell her.”
It was Franks who found Payton’s body, when he returned from his second day on the job at a mobile home factory in Boaz.
He said he had left at 6:15 a.m. and returned at 4:18 p.m. Pathologists estimated that Payton died at 9 a.m.
Sallisaw is in the heart of Indian country, and Franks is a Cherokee Indian.
Those facts first led investigators to think that the symbol could have some ritual significance in Indian culture, and that Payton’s death may have resulted from trouble that had followed her and Franks from Oklahoma.
Franks was taken into police custody the same day that he reported Payton’s death and was questioned for several days.
He was released without charges and attended services for Payton in Oklahoma, where she was returned for burial.
Investigators say Franks later joined his parents in the Midwest.
Four years after Payton’s slaying, both her father and DeKalb County prosecutors have a single strong suspect in mind, but said they do not have enough evidence to put anybody in jail.
Yet.
Since the slaying, investigators have narrowed their search and discounted some earlier theories.
They no longer believe the case is tied to Oklahoma or to the occult.
And although an empty condom wrapper was found beside Payton’s body, O’Dell said she had not been sexually assaulted.
“We have come to the conclusion that this was not a gang or cult symbol, but that it had specific meaning to the perpetrator,” O’Dell said.
“This was not a random act, but an attack directed specifically at Tina Payton, probably by someone she knew.”
O’Dell said the case has remained active and that he and Sheriff Cecil Reed discuss the case with their investigators often.
“This case has gnawed at us since it happened,”
O’Dell said.
“It is safe to say that we have a suspect, but our evidence is insufficient to go forth with prosecution, and I am not in a position to publicly identify the suspect.”
Max Payton is also frustrated that his daughter’s killer has not been caught.
“Every time I see those crime shows on television where modern forensics solve cases with almost no evidence to go on, I get angry all over again,”
Payton said.
“I think more should have been done in all this time.It’s been four years.”
O’Dell said he shares those frustrations.
He said Payton has been very helpful in the investigation, traveling from Florida several times to meet with detectives on the case.
“We have a lot of circumstantial evidence, but I don’t want this case to turn out like O.J. Simpson’s,”
O’Dell said.
“I am not going to charge and risk that the guilty person will get away. I want a conviction.”
O’Dell said his office has prosecuted about 30 homicides in DeKalb and Cherokee counties since Payton’s slaying, keeping investigators busy.
“We have been overwhelmed just with new cases, but that is about to change,”
O’Dell said.
“We now have time to sit down and re-evaluate the Payton case, to see if there is anything there we’ve been missing.”
O’Dell said he thinks investigators are getting close to breaking the case, by uncovering new information and by finding witnesses who know something about the case that they have not reported.
“I am confident that we will have enough to bring this case before a jury soon,”
O’Dell said.
Meanwhile, Max Payton is planning to come home to Alabama.
He has sold the Sand Mountain house where Tina was killed to a neighboring poultry farmer and bought a house and acreage on Lookout Mountain in Cherokee County.
He and his wife, Jeannie, plan to move here from Florida by spring.
“I want to move back close to home and I want to get some new interest in Tina’s case,”
he said.
“She meant more to me than anything in the world, and I want the person who took her from me to be brought to justice.”
Gov. Don Siegelman has offered a $5,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of Tina Payton’s killer.
Anyone having information is asked to call the case agent, investigator Clay Simpson, at the DeKalb County Sheriff’s Department, (256) 845-8562.

1998 article updated in 2019

SALLISAW -- Sandy Williams visits her daughter's gravesite regularly.
She wants to put a fence around the marker and maybe get a tombstone up there soon, but the weather has made it impossible to do much. ``It's been tough with all the rain,'' she said.
This week marks the first anniversary since her daughter, Tina Payton, was found shot to death at her home in Crossville, Ala. The 19-year-old Payton had recently moved to Alabama from Sallisaw, where she grew up.
The slaying attracted international attention because of a strange symbol that had been carved into Payton's abdomen.
Investigators in Alabama have yet to determine what the symbol means.
For Williams and Max Payton, Tina's father, that is the least of the mysteries related to their daughter's killing.
Their biggest questions have remained the same since Nov. 3, 1997 -- who killed her, and why haven't law officers moved more quickly to make an arrest?
DeKalb County, Ala., sheriff's investigators say they have made the case a priority in their office, yet Sheriff
Cecil Reed acknowledged that they don't have much to show for it. They have no murder weapon, no idea what the symbol means and not much hope so far of making any arrest stick.
It's this perceived lack of movement that has frustrated Williams and Max Payton.
They said investigators in Crossville kept talking for months about how close they were to nailing down the case. Now, Tina's parents said,they can hardly get the Sheriff's Office to call them back.
``To me, they're dragging their feet,'' said Williams, who lives in Sallisaw. ``They were saying they were 99.9 percent sure they knew who did it, and yet they haven't made an arrest. I want to know why.''
Max Payton said he has the same question. However, he also wants the sheriff's investigators to move carefully so they won't jeopardize the case.
``They have a prime suspect,'' said Payton, who lives in Panama City, Fla.
``I've been told that by (investigator) Clayburn Simpson and by the sheriff.'' Simpson said in May that the probe had focused on a single suspect but that an arrest would have to wait until after forensics test results returned sometime during the summer.
``I hope very shortly that I can tell you we've made an arrest and who it is,'' he said then. Six months later, the forensics results are back, but investigators have no more evidence than they did before.
Reed said his office has not turned up any weapons or any additional tips that would lead to a break in the case.
``We don't have any hard-core evidence,'' he said.
Deputies arrested Payton's boyfriend, Chad Frank, early in the investigation. Frank was released after several days because investigators said he had an alibi.
Reed said solving Payton's murder is his office's highest priority. Even so, the sheriff said he understands her parents' frustration.
``I would be, too,'' he said. ``I'm frustrated with not having a shred of evidence.''
Reed pointed to another recent murder investigation in his county as reason for optimism in Payton's case. His officers made an arrest this summer in connection with a 1995 double slaying.
``So we never give up,'' he said. ``As long as I'm sheriff, this case will not put on a back burner.''
Payton's parents, meanwhile, want to keep her memory front and center. They both recalled a daughter who loved life and was excited by her prospects in Alabama.
``She had gotten a job there in Crossville at a little grocery store, and she really enjoyed her job,'' Max Payton said. ``Tina was an outgoing-type person who loved being with people.''
As the anniversary of her death rolled around, Tina's parents, who are divorced, dealt with her memory in their own ways. Williams tended to her daughter's gravesite, while Max Payton tried to think more about his daughter's living milestones, like her birthday.
``It's not something to celebrate,'' he said of the date of her death.
But it's something he certainly will not forget. Investigators may have reached a standstill in finding Tina's killer, he said, but anyone who knows anything about the crime has a responsibility to make a stand.
``There's a murderer on the loose,'' he said.

My opinion on the symbols

I put this last because it's just my opinion, it doesn't matter much. My personal opinion is that the person who killed her didn't even know why they carved those symbols into her body. Maybe as an afterthought?
Maybe they were trying to make their murder more "sophisticated" than they originally intended? The investigators said it was clearly "on display". But why?
If it has no real discernable meaning? "Art" maybe?
Maybe to frame the native American side of the family?
In the research I've done about this case since learning about it, I think the killer succeeded in what they meant to do with it: to throw people off and send them down a rabbit hole.
Just my first gut feeling of speculation.

References

Other items of note

Updates:

submitted by familyoftina to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]

COMPLETE GUIDE TO QUIT PORN FOR GOOD AND IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

This is not written by me, but I HAD TO share it with all of you, because this is not some temporary trick to achieve 30, 60, 90 days target. It is a step by step guide for the complete reboot, to completely change your approach towards quitting porn and tackle PMO in the right manner.
I've shared it in a few other subs, because I want to reach as many people as possible.
It is extremely long, but trust me, it will change your whole perspective of quitting this addiction. Just read.

Written by - TheUnderdog

Porn Addiction is Being Severely Underestimated


How do I know this?
Because most people in the community believe that in order to get rid of this addiction, all they have to do is keep trying over and over again, until eventually things will just 'click' and their brains will finally become rebooted.
Very few are treating this as a true addiction. They just see it as a habit they want to break.
This is evidenced by the stubborness of many, relying purely on willpower for months, only to constantly reset their counters and beat themselves up for not making any progress.
Most people don't realize how incredibly difficult it is to completely remove artificial stimulation (of any kind) for the rest of their lives. We're talking about years and years of brain conditioning here.
We're dealing with some powerful stuff here, but it is not treated seriously enough, probably because it's widely accepted by society and is not a substance like heroine or cocaine.
I cringe when people relapse, reset their counters, and proclaim "This is it, I've had enough, I'm going to do it this time"...
Stop kidding yourself.
This is an addiction that has to be attacked from many different angles. You need a full arsenal of tools and strategies, as well as a proper mindset.
Willpower alone won't do shit.
Abstinence is NOT Recovery
What people usually try to do is go as many days clean as they can.
That's all they do.
That's all their goal.
They achieve a certain amount of days, then for whatever reason they relapse, so they start over and repeat.
That is abstaining. That is not recovering.
It is extremely common for people to achieve a certain milestone, such as 30, 90, or 100 days, relapse a few days later, and then find themselves unable to get momentum again. They go back to the beginning and they feel like they lost all their progress from their run.
There is a constant frustration for lack of progress. People are feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, trying the same thing over and over again without success.
This is because very few are addressing the real roots of their problems. Very few.
Everyone is focused on how many days they have managed and if their symptoms are either present or gone. They judge their progress by measuring dick hardness, spontaneous erections and morning woods.
They are "trying to quit porn" so that they can "get rid of their ED".
So they abstain for as long as they can, hoping that this can cure their symptoms.
Completely wrong approach.
If they don't see ED improvements, they get discouraged.
If they see ED improvements, then maybe a porn session or two won't hurt, right?
If there is no woman around, they justify watching a couple of times. After all, they are not having sex anytime soon, so whats the point?
They delay dating until their ED is cured or they have managed to go 100 days. But they never achieve this in the first place precisely because of this incorrect mentality.
The same applies to other symptoms such as social anxiety, energy levels, motivation, etc.
They try to quit porn, so that the symptoms can go away, and so they can finally live life.
People are focusing on the wrong things.
They are not changing the way they think.
They are not changing the way they live.
They are not changing the way they view sex and women.
They are just trying not to masturbate, while everything else remains the same.
That, my friends, is abstinence, not recovery.
The Foundation of a Proper Reboot
Porn addiction is not the cause of your shitty life.
Read that again.
Of course, it's difficult to improve your life when you're having intense porn sessions every single day that drain your energy and make you a zombie. But porn is not the reason your life sucks.
Please, this is very important to understand, you have to stop blaming porn for your problems.
This mentality of life awaits me after recovery is destructive.
Porn is not the reason you're a procrastinator. Porn is not the reason you're depressed. Porn is not the reason you're lonely. Porn is not the reason you haven't been able to lose weight or gain muscle.
Porn is the symptom.
You watch porn to escape reality. You watch porn to manage your emotions. You watch porn because you're bored, lonely, stressed, depressed, angry, isolated. You watch porn to feel good for a moment, to replace uncomfortable emotions and situations in your life.
Here's how you get rid of this addiction:
You don't focus on quitting porn so you can finally get to live life after you're recovered.
You focus on learning how to live, how to manage your emotions, how to change the way you think and view the world.
You put all your energy into building the life you want.
This will naturally lead your mind away from porn.
Success is not measured by how many clean days you've managed.
It's measured by how much your life has improved since you started rebooting.
This is what you need to do.

Step #1: Write a life vision for yourself


How do you envision your life a few weeks, months, or years from now?
Spend a whole day (or week) thinking about this.
Don't say I don't know what to do with my life.
Are you telling me you have no clue what you want in any of the following areas: study, work, family, friends, hobbies, health, etc.?
Even if you're not sure, you need to give your life some direction.
This is by far the most important part of recovering from pornography addiction.
Write like crazy. Write many pages if you want. Make the biggest post you've ever done in your journal talking about how you envision your future life.
This life vision will be the foundation of your reboot.
This is what you will focus on 100% from now on.
Close your eyes. Visualize it. Write it down.
If you don't know what you want in life, then this is actually a more serious issue than porn addiction itself.
Like I said, spend a whole week if you need to.
Brainstorm.
Ask for advice.
Take a notebook and go to a park.
Inspire yourself.
This is the beginning of your recovery.
Take it seriously.

Step #2: Give urgency to your life vision


Ok, now you know what you want in life. Even if you're still unsure in some areas, such as not knowing what to study, that's ok. At least you can give your life some direction for the moment. This is very important. You need to give your life direction. You need to move towards something.
Here's the problem. Many of us know what we want, but we keep delaying it. We're experts at delaying goals. We wait until New Years, or the beginning of a month, or until circumstances get better.
So this is what you're going to do now:
You're going to give urgency to your life vision.
Write down why you ABSOLUTELY MUST start working on it right now.
Make another huge post or journal entry about it.
Let's suppose you're 27 and you have no job, no car, still live with your parents, and spend most of the day playing video games. Why in the world would you wait more time before starting to do something about it? This is urgent bro. You're fucking 27!
Or maybe you've never had a girlfriend in your life before. Well, what are you waiting for? Go buy some nice clothes, start going out more frequently, make mistakes, get rejected, ask women on dates. Start getting some experience NOW.
You have back pain? Start working on it. Don't wait. The more you wait the worse it gets. Start doing yoga or swimming. Move your hips and back constantly every day.
Write down reasons why you must start pursuing your life vision right now.
You have to stop living like this.
This is urgent.
This is high priority.
We must convince ourselves that change is imminent.
It's very important.
A life vision is no good if you have no urgency.
You'll just keep delaying it. Waiting for circumstances to improve. Waiting for motivation to arrive. Waiting for the beginning of new year.
Create urgency.

Step #3: Develop an indestructible belief in yourself


One of the main reasons we quit goals is because deep inside we don't believe we're actually able to do it.
When successful people like Arnold Schwarzenegger decide they want to achieve something, they become completely obsessed about it. They have an indestructible belief that they will achieve it.
They are not affected by circumstances. They create results in their head before they even get them.
This is what you have to do if you want to accomplish anything.
For example, let's say you want to learn how to play guitar. And you have the urgency to do it, because you know it takes time, so the sooner you start the better. You have to start now.
However, after a few days of learning the basics, you start losing motivation and becoming discouraged. You realize that playing guitar is not easy at all. You feel overwhelmed by how much practice you need to put into it. You start doubting yourself and thinking "There's no way I'll ever become a great guitar player and form my own band". Friends tell you things like "Dude, you should've started years ago. All great guitarists started when they were young".
So you quit.
This is a result of a weak belief in yourself. You don't believe you have the potential to become a good guitarist. Which is obviously completely false. We as humans have unlimited potential.
Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't think like this.
Look at what he said:
How many times have you heard 'You can't do this', 'You can't do that', 'It's never been done before'. I love it when someone says ' No one has ever done this before', because when I do it, that means I'm the first person that's ever done it!
This is how we should think when we set up to do anything in life.
Uncertainty is what kills people. Not knowing if they're able to achieve it.
We need to brainwash ourselves every day into believing that we WILL do it NO MATTER WHAT.
All of these steps are equally important.
Do not skip them.
They are the foundation of your reboot.
They make rebooting so much easier. Your mind will be completely focused on what you want in life. You will be fixing the root of all your problems.
The secret of change is to focus all your energy not fighting the old, but on building the new.
Stop making posts complaining about your shitty life. Stop making posts saying how you're sick of being addicted to porn. Stop talking about porn altogether.
Instead, transform your journal into a self-improvement journal, focused 100% on moving towards the life you want.
"Forget" about porn.
This is basic rebooting stuff, yet many people are constantly breaking this rule. They write about porn cravings, morning woods, spontaneous erections, what day they're on, how much they struggled to abstain, how they can't wait to reach 90 days, etc.
When you consistently focus 100% on building the life you want, your mind will naturally move away from porn. You will also lessen the void left by quitting porn, which is very real.
Many people quit porn only to find themselves in this life emptiness that is very hard to handle. Then they go back to porn precisely because this void is too much for them.
Focusing on your life vision is a superior rebooting approach.
Relapses aren't that discouraging if you're actually improving your life. Ironically, you will notice that the more you focus on what you want, the less frequently you will relapse.
It's important that you think in terms of life vision and pursuing your dreams, not in terms of "I have to get busy and fill my life with activities so that I don't watch porn". This is something you're doing for yourself.
Stop ranting about porn.
This journey is about your LIFE.
Focus on that and the porn will go away.

Managing Your Emotional Life

Ok, let's keep going.
Porn addiction is much more than just getting cravings and relapsing.
One of the reasons we become addicted is because of our inability to manage our emotional lives.
You have to remind yourself that quitting porn is about growing up and becoming a much more mature person.
It's much more than I want to quit porn so I can cure ED and have plenty of sex with women!.
Much more than that.
We've been using porn for years as a method of handling our emotions.
We need to stop hiding away from uncomfortable life situations. We need to stop using porn in order to escape from reality.
We must learn how to handle life and emotions without the need of porn.
We need to understand that one of the reasons we relapse is because we're pussies that can't handle negative emotions.
We use porn as medication. We use porn to hide away from life. We use porn to temporarily relief anxiety, stress, loneliness, boredom, anger, etc.
Readjusting Your Sexual Expectations
This is by far one of the most difficult things to do.
When you quit porn, you're not just saying good bye to artificial stimulation.
You're leaving behind the world of "never ending flow of hot chicks with big tits and round asses".
Real life is nothing like that.
We've been spoiled by porn. We believe that we should be out there having lots of sex with different women. We believe that this is the key to happiness and fulfillment.
The problem is that it is incredibly difficult and unrealistic to "fuck hot chicks on a regular basis".
There's nothing particularly wrong with having that goal, but you have to be willing to take some MASSIVE action. You have to go through hundreds of rejections. You need to have a lot of balls. You must do what 99.9% of men are incredibly afraid to do.
How many people here are doing what it takes to have the kind of sexual life we all dream about?
Very few, if any. We see these super hot chicks on tight dresses and we hope that maybe someday we might be able to have sex with them. We read books about seduction. We visit PUA forums. We watch videos on YouTube of guys approaching girls. We make theories and discuss them online.
But we aren't doing shit about it.
It's all just a dream. An idea we have in our minds. Something we hope someday we will do.
Here's how most people get laid in real life:
A guy meets a girl he finds attractive, so he asks her out. They get to know each other. Then they continue to go out and form some sort of relationship. Then after some months the relationship either becomes serious or falls apart.
That's the real world.
You have to accept that, unless you're willing to take massive action, you won't fuck anywhere near as many women as you expect to.
Accepting this is very difficult, but it is necessary.
We need to learn how to live without this world of endless hot chicks, otherwise we'll become extremely disappointed and dissatisfied with real life, which is nothing like porn.
Anyone here is more than capable of getting a girlfriend. But our girlfriends most likely won't look like pornstars, nor they will act like them.
There's a very high probability the sex won't be pornographic in nature. There's going to be a lot of sensuality, caressing, and also clumsiness. Some days your girl will look sexy, other days not so much. Some days she'll be in the mood, other days she won't. Some days you'll struggle to keep it hard, other days you'll cum too fast. She might be able to achieve orgasms, or she might not. You might do it every other day, or maybe only 3-4 times per month.
Remember, pornstars are paid thousands of dollars to do what they're told and fulfill all your fantasies.
You must stop living in dream land.
I know this is very difficult to accept, but we have to give meaning to our lives outside fucking hot chicks.
Our happiness cannot depend on that. Otherwise you'll keep coming back to porn every time you fail to get laid in real life. You will remain attached to "sex with hot chicks" for the rest of your life. You have to change the way you view sex and women, because I can assure you it has been completely distorted by porn.
By the way, I don't believe there's anything wrong about pursuing casual sex instead of a relationship, just make sure you keep both feet on the ground.
I would also like to add that relationships are about sharing your life with another person. I know many people here want a girlfriend so that they can finally start getting laid, but relationships go much more deeper than that.
If you've never had a girlfriend before you'll know once you get one.
Thinking About Sex is USELESS
What's the point of fantasizing?
It accomplishes nothing.
It slows down the reboot, increases the urge to masturbate, and reinforces neurological pathways related to porn.
It's a meaningless activity that should be eliminated.
It keeps your mind focused on sex, tits, asses, fucking, when it should be shifted towards other activities in life.
If you find yourself thinking about sex, you should mindfully and calmly redirect your attention to something else.
You want sex?
Great.
Then do something to actually make it happen.
Fantasizing by itself serves no purpose at all.
You need to understand that if you want to abstain from orgasm and masturbation, you cannot be thinking about sex and women, because this will inevitably cause you to relapse. Trying to abstain while at the same time fantasizing or peeking at pictures of chicks will only lead to frustration.
Stay away from any kind of artificial stimulation. Don't take peeks. Don't browse pictures of girls online. Don't type pornstar names on Google image search. Don't read escort forums.
Do not arouse yourself.
Basically you have to adopt a philosophy of "I'm either trying to get laid (approaching, texting girls, going out on dates, flirting with women, hanging out with friends, getting rejected) or doing something completely unrelated to sex (work, studying, exercise, fun, reading, playing an instrument, chores, housework, watching movies)".
There is no grey area where you are alone thinking about sex or checking out girls online. This accomplishes nothing. It serves no real purpose. It will only increase urges, lead to relapse, and make you frustrated.
As soon as erotic thoughts pop up in your mind, you should calmly ignore them and refocus your attention to something else. You keep practicing this forever until you master it.
You have to attack this addiction right from the root. Trying to abstain from hardcore porn accomplishes nothing if you're still constantly fantasizing and peeking.
If you keep strengthening the mindset I talked about above, you will be making meaningful progress.
This used to be called "Monk Mode", but I don't like that name because it implies that you're going to become celibate.
This isn't about becoming celibate. This is about doing what it takes if you want to get laid, instead of wasting mental energy on sexual thoughts that will only improve the chances of relapsing.
If you ever want to achieve a long streak, you can't be checking out girls online, even if it's just some bikini pictures. You can't be fantasizing when you wake up in the morning. You can't be taking 5 second peeks at porn.
As soon as you do any of those things, this huge beast called porn addiction will take control over your prefrontal cortex and it's just a matter of time before you relapse.
You have to be extreme.
But don't worry, it's much easier than it sounds.
It's actually harder to stop yourself from relapsing once you're already thinking about sex, than it is to not think about sex in the first place.
How do you not think about sex?
Simple.
Focus your mind 100% on your life vision.
Every....single....day.
Dismissing erotic thoughts as soon as they arrive in your mind is the cornerstone for preventing relapses.
This is basic stuff guys.
It's Not Orgasm What You Crave
Many people here believe that abstaining from orgasm is the most difficult part of rebooting.
WRONG.
When you get porn cravings, your brain is not asking for orgasm. As an addict, it is begging you for your hit. It misses the high, the tits, the asses, the novelty, the rush, the unrealistic sexual scenarios, the fantasies, the super hot chicks, the perfect camera shots, the feeling of letting go and indulging in pleasure, the fucking, the cumshots, the doggystyles, the boobs bouncing around, etc.
If lack of orgasm was the problem, then everyone would just fap without porn (or any other artificial stimulation). There would be no relapses and everyone would have 500+ day counters.
The urge to ejaculate only becomes a real problem once you start peeking, edging or fantasizing constantly. When you find yourself in a state of arousal then obviously you will want to cum.
But the initial urges are "addiction urges". They are mental. They are not a physical need for ejaculation.
If you feed these urges by peeking, even if it's just pictures of hot babes in bikini, then they will invade your mind and rob you of your ability to concentrate or remain calm. Eventually "autopilot" mode will be engaged and we all know what happens next.
You're not having urges to cum.
You're having urges for a "high" and a "rush".
Remember that.
This is why porn urges don't go away when you get a girlfriend.
It is a drug, and you need to learn how to live without it, regardless of whether you have a girlfriend or not.
When you abstain for several days or weeks, your sensitized pathways are anxiously waiting for any sexual cue, no matter how short or brief. This is why people mistakenly confuse real libido with porn cravings. They take a peek at porn after 15 days and they feel this intense rush and urge to cum, so they conclude that it is libido and that they must relieve pressure.
The problem was taking a peek in the first place. Had they just focused on more important things instead, they would've been able to finish the day clean without problem.
If you manage to completely abstain from fantasizing and checking out chicks online (in any form), then going a long time without orgasm won't be a problem.
And don't even think about testing or caressing your dick.
Focus 100% on your life vision.

Counters vs Spreadsheets


The following advice is aimed particularly towards those members who are having trouble getting a good run. If you're already doing good, you can skip this section.
Ok, here's the thing:
There is a sickening obsession with long streaks on this forum.
People like counters because supposedly they are helpful for tracking progress.
Well, guess what? Spreadsheets do a much better job at that.
There's a reason why I'm so stubborn with this anti-counter thing.
They are dangerous, destructive, counterproductive.
Counters reinforce the idea of being "back to zero" every time you relapse, making it way more justifiable to binge before starting over again. Not only that, but you completely lose track of how many times you're actually masturbating. They don't show the whole picture. There is absolutely no way to measure your progress at all. It's a never ending cycle of abstaining for a few days and then going back to zero.
Every time you reset your counter you become increasingly discouraged and unmotivated.
There's too much emphasis on what day you're on, no fap challenges (there are currently 7 no fap challenges running, it's ridiculous), 90 days, 100 days, etc.
If you're consistently unable to get past XX days and you're always in the low numbers, then your counter has lost its purpose.
Counters are only good when you've managed a good run, because this gives you a sense of accomplishment and provides sufficient accountability to actually prevent relapses sometimes.
Now, let's talk about spreadsheets:
- They keep your addiction under control: By keeping track of how many times you're actually masturbating and having orgasms, you will be forced to keep it in the low numbers. If you relapse, the spreadsheet will discourage you to binge, especially when you're sharing it with the forum. A good rule of thumb is to try to keep your orgasm count to less than 5 per month.
- They allow you to see the full picture. In gameover's words: "You don't realise how you forget over a month how many times you actually masturbate, peek, pmo or orgasm until you have it in front of you. I thought i was well under 3-4 orgasms a month but I have been up around 6-7 and this month was no better." You'll be surprised at how many times you're actually fapping.
- They completely eliminate the "counting" factor. All you have to do is keep it as clean as you can. Pretty cool eh? No more counting, no more 90 day goals, no more fap challenges. After all, we're trying to quit porn for life, not just 100 days or whatever.
- They will never discourage you. If you do relapse, you input it on the spreadsheet and move on. You don't make a new thread called "Relapsed again" or "Not making any progress". Trust me, if you went from fapping 25 times per month to 2-3 times per month, you're making huge progress, even if your counter only says "6 days".
Spreadsheets are NOT a taper off approach, of course. The goal should always be to never watch porn, to be as clean as you can, to take it one day at a time.
Tapering off, as in "I watched porn 20 times last month, so I'll watch it 15 times this month", will never work. You should never think like this. You should never give yourself the green light to PMO.
Ideally, you should replace your counter with a spreadsheet and completely forget about what day you're on. Then, if you do manage to get on a good run, you can put your counter back up for accountability and motivational purposes.
However, I understand many people here are in love with their counters.
They look pretty.
They are fancy.
I get it, I get it.
So this is what I propose:
(Once again, this ONLY applies to people who are struggling. If you're already on day 70 or whatever then don't change anything, but consider using a spreadsheet if you do end up relapsing.)

Conclusion


To sum it up, the typical rebooting advice of Hey man, just do a 90 day reboot is basically useless.
This is a very serious addiction and should be treated as such.
Willpower alone won't do it.
Change the way you live.
Change the way you think.
And please, stop making so many posts about porn, cravings, urges, relapsing, erections, 90 days, etc.
Instead, focus on the most important thing:
Your life.

Gotta clarify some things:
I have never said that the reason we started watching porn was because of life problems. In fact, I would argue that is not the case for the majority of us.
I didn't have any childhood issues or family problems when I was young. I just discovered porn on my own and liked it because it was very pleasurable. As kids and teenagers we are curious and horny.
However, as years go by, we become dependent on it not only because of its extreme addictive nature and accessibility, but also because we start using it as a way to cope with life.
The reason we start using porn and the reason we continue to use porn once we're addicts aren't necessarily the same.
I also didn't mean to say that all porn addicts have shitty lives. Actually by shitty all I mean is being dissatisfied in one way or another. Maybe you constantly put off your goals. Or maybe you waste a lot of time online and want to change that. That doesn't mean your life is shit. It just means it could be better.
I am completely aware there are exceptions. There is a guy who told me he had no problems getting instant makeouts and fucking chicks the same day he meets them. There are others who actually have incredibly busy lives and only watch porn to get some pleasure and relax.
Whatever your situation is, the main point of my post still stands. You should focus on moving towards what you want, instead of constantly complaining and wasting lots of energy on staying away from porn.
Concentrate on building the life you dream about and this will help you tremendously on your quest to overcome your addiction to porn.
submitted by repcaqq04 to selfimprovement [link] [comments]

I can't deal with the problems that come with being a man, it stops me from doing so many things that are so human and that keep me going and it's just hard

I'm currently not in a good place and I'm venting so I'm sorry if this is rambly but I just can't deal with the fact that no woman will ever feel as safe with me as with her closest friends who are also women, I know it's hard for them, I do everything I can to make everyone around me feel as safe and protected as I can but sometimes it just isn't enough, it probably never will.
I was abused by a male when I was a kid, so I'm in the same boat as most women in my life in that regard, I feel unsafe and uneasy around other men, and if not unsafe just being with one alone in a room then definitely doing anything intimate with them (which sucks ass because I'm attracted to guys as well)
This leaves me with basically just women, because they're the only group of people were I have the potential to feel completely safe and protected with them, but with the women I'm closest to I also have to be extremely careful because I don't want to cause anxiety.
I met someone some months ago who I really love who told me about times she was abused by other men, and that she feels much safer with women than with men (which also means me) and it just breaks my heart knowing I'll never be able to make someone like her feel 100% safe and protected with me. I want to make it clear I have absolutely nothing against her, I love her so much, and that's exactly why I'm hurting, I don't want her to not have any boundaries set with me, I don't want her to suddenly (or at all) be comfortable to do anything physical with me, I just want her to stop hurting as well, because I know it's so much more difficult for her.
I'm going to discuss this with my therapist in our next appointment, but she's a woman as well, and I just need to listen to another man's perspective on this who isn't toxic or misogynistic, that genuinely believes in the same things that I believe regarding this subject, but just has a little more wisdom than I do, it's honestly so heartbreaking knowing I'll never be able to be as close to anyone 100% because of either my own trauma or their own and I just don't know what to do with this fact
Edit:
I'm feeling so so much better now, and a lot of it is thanks to everyone here, I never believed I could find a community that could understand me and help me and care for me like this, never ever in a million years, I thought I was doomed to a life of loneliness and feelings of unsafety due to things that I did not choose and cannot control, but all of your comments helped me so much, not a single bad one, everyone supportive and beautiful, I even got some dms from women who preferred not to comment here, and they all helped me so so much as well. Here's what happened thanks to all of you wonderful men, women, and all of you in between.
When I was writing this post we were at her friend's house and there were a couple more people with us, when I saw her getting distanced and anxious and she told me it's because of me I stayed a little more, and then told everyone I had to make a phone call and got out of the house to sit on these feelings and I ended up writing this post crying throughout, and funnily enough the moment I started crying she called me, and hearing her voice I started crying more, she wanted to know if everything was ok because I was apparently gone for a long while and I tried sounding as ok as I could because I didn't want her to think/feel that her setting up her own boundaries with me made me feel upset, but I think I did a really poor job at hiding my emotional state, because after the call she texted me saying that it's ok if I need some time for myself and when I got back up to the apartment she asked me if I was ok, I said I wasn't, and that it isn't worth talking about because I believed she wouldn't understand, and then the comments started coming.
I felt suddenly like there is so much more hope in me, that this relationship can definitely work if we just keep doing what we're doing, and that everything is going to be ok.
I told her I wanted to talk with her privately, and so we went to a different room, and I told her why I was so upset and why I cried, I told her why I was wrong and told her again how much I genuinely value her setting up her boundaries with me because it shows how strong our relationship is and that I can trust her to know what's right for her and what isn't, and it evolved into this entire conversation discussing everything important between us.
Currently we aren't actually dating, we're more friends, but we have romantic feelings for each other, we cuddle, kiss each other, sometimes even call each other pet names, but she told me from the start that she does not want a relationship right now because she isn't emotionally ready for another one, of course I respect that, but after she told me about her past relationships I can't see how anyone wouldn't.
She told me she sometimes she doesn't want to touch me not because she simply doesn't feel safe around me, but rather that her initiating touch would give me the wrong idea that we're in a relationship, which would put her in an unsafe position again because she was abused so much in her past relationships, she told me she felt it was selfish and rude to put up these boundaries, and that she should just be grateful someone is willing to touch her body like that, and I'm so glad she said that because we then started to discuss these things.
We had this entire conversation about boundaries, I told her she wasn't being selfish or rude for putting these boundaries up, that, besides the past three months, I've essentially lived my entire life without ever touching her body, that it wouldn't kill me, I told her why our relationship mattered to me so much, and how most of our relationship happens when we're not even in the same house, but rather texting or speaking on the phone, basically, talking. I told her I can be intimate like that with her knowing fully well she doesn't want a relationship right now, that there could be physical intimacy without a romantic relationship just as I knew there could be a romantic relationship without physical intimacy, and from that conversation we discussed some more and now she told me she also feels comfortable with the idea of exploring sexual intimacy together with me, which I honestly did not expect at all.
We agreed on a lable (that currently isn't boyfriend and girlfriend) and then I brought up the idea that until she explicitly says otherwise, all physical touch needs to be initiated by her, she said she really loved this idea, and we started following that rule right then and there, she told me she felt so much better after our talk, and in a really funny way I personally feel like everything that could go right absolutely did, this day was absolutely perfect after we started talking, and it was such an important talk and such a big milestone for the both of us and I'm genuinely excited to see where it goes with her in the future when an explicitly discussed relationship is on the table, but until then (or if the day never comes) I'm so so so happy to be a friend of hers.
I'm sorry the edit was so long, I didn't expect it to be like this, but I just wanted all of you to see the fruits of your love and of your compassion, that this wasn't possible unless I had supporting and loving men (and women too) behind my back that just want to push me forward and out of this emotional hole, the world needs so many more people like you and I hope all of you know that, even those that didn't comment on this post, or didn't even upvote it before this edit, thank you so much for being in this community, that says so much, you are all beautiful, empathetic strong and loving individuals and I wish so much health happiness and love to come your way, I love you all!
submitted by Lavnin_Hakruv to bropill [link] [comments]

Lannies Goodbye letter

I have edited out names. This letter was written before a previous attempt.
Goodbyes and the truth.
I have written many of these before but I feel like finally I can post one. Just a disclaimer it might make me seem a little crazy, but those who have watched my stream for years and have known me on a personal level will understand this better than a stranger. Maybe this will be something some of you will laugh at, maybe it will be something that will change your perception on a lot of things. I wrote most of this a week ago. But today I came back home that this is the day.
I have always hated when people joked about depression. I have done a good job at hiding it somewhat for a long time.
Like I said many times, I feel like a few people will wonder why I decided to go through with it.. and the least I can do is provide an explanation. Maybe this post will seem like a “poor me, feel bad for me kind of post”.. but in a lot of ways I am not a good person. I just want whoever is reading to know why I feel the way I do.
My name is Jody, I’m freshly 24, and I last lived in Vancouver.
I grew up with a very troubled past. Life at home as a child was never great. This is actually the case for many individuals in the world. Divorce, common. Split families, common. Gambling habits, common. Feeling alone and neglected, very common.
Although all of these are factors to my upbringing, I still felt like I turned out okay. I did decent in school and I constantly worked to save up before landing income through YouTube. I feel like a lot of people use these factors as THE reason why they’re so mentally insane. I do, but only a tiny percentage, perhaps 2%. There are many other events that happened to me as a child but I don’t need to go into details for that.
I grew up alone, but I give many thanks to my oldest brother, Tom, for guiding me a lot of ways. When I was 8, he would come spend friday’s with me and his ex girlfriend and I wouldn’t be alone for the weekends. Weeknights I was alone entirely, seeing my mother a few times before she did her nightly routine. I eventually had a computer with internet but no idea what and how to use it besides random games and browsing pages that I probably should have not seen.. and I guess that’s when I started to realize how it was not normal for me to always be alone.I remember all the nights I would stay awake until 3am falling asleep on the futon beside my computer on the floor instead of my actual bed.. because nobody was ever there to tell me otherwise. During this time, I tried out starcraft because I realized people talked.. but me being young and horrible at the game, people just told me I suck.. lol shrugs
I remember calling Tom when I was 14 to cry over how people were bullying me and how alone I felt. Mind you, he was only 24 at the time and he just kept telling me it was going to be okay. It was the first time I cried to him about depression and little did I know how much worse it would get for the years to come.
Time flies, I eventually move out west coast. I went to 6 different elementary schools as a kid, I went to 2 junior highs, I went to 3 high schools. Is this not troubling? I always thought I would grow old and have kids and give them the life I never had.. but I’m weak.. I’d never want any of them to see me like this.
I don’t think I’m a bad person, not disregarding that I am entirely not perfect. I was never good at making friends or keeping them. I was pretty awkward and at times even a mean girl. I would always make friends with the “popular” kids but I would lean towards the less social people for feeling more comfortable. This…. does not always work. Anyway, this is not too significant but I was a bullied for parts of my school life, but I was also a bully. Ironic, right? It’s very odd because the boys who bullied me at Mt. Doug all know what they did by writing nasty things on Facebook when I have never done anything to them. The girls in Vancouver accused me of something I just took the blame for, but now a days those same girls preach being “kind and having a beautiful soul” on Instagram.
Anyway, fast forward to grade 12. I will never give enough thanks to my high school calculus and math teacher at Vic High. I was a bad kid, but I did well in school when I tried. Only he saw that. I will never forget the talk he gave me to start trying in school. Because of him, I was able to get scholarships for university and my grades were fine. You never know the impact that a teacher can give a student just by believing in them.
I move back to Ottawa for university. First year university was a breeze, I had a friend in all my classes. Kevin, even if we don’t talk anymore… I always thank you for being there. I felt amazingly alone when I got home from classes, if I ever even went.
I dated a bit, and I even started my first serious relationship. He is a really, really nice guy. Even when things went sour, he was always nice. Always caring, always there. I ruined him. He was raised right, and he was very good to me. I was not. Looking back, I don’t even know why I treated him so bad. A lot was just anger took out on him. 3 years later, we end things for good and on good terms. This taught me a lot about appreciation in my life as should everybody learn about at one point in their life.. but I guess this is where Karma comes in.
I reconnected with somebody else that I dated.. and I guess this is where the “main” part of this entire post is significant. I love this guy. I mean I really, really loved the guy. But again, I could never be perfect. I was jealous, I was clingy, and I was very emotional. I was blinded by his changes compared to 4 years before that I just threw everything I had for the second time. I dropped all that I had and went for it. He promised me good things, I believed. I did not do any of this because of chasing love, but rather I viewed him as my best friend and somebody I really felt supported me in my decisions. This went on for a long time, the amount of trust was unbelievable.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice guy to his friends and family. Nobody ever believed me when I told them the way it was at home. I’ve counted 3 black eyes, unlimited bruises, countless times of being thrown on the ground, and 4 times I was choked til tears. The fights were always about the same thing, me wanting more effort on his end or being too clingy.. or saying things that he did not like. He’s amazing to his peers, there for them, will go out of his way for them. Very loyal as well.. but to me, I didn’t even get 5% of it. I am not perfect. I broke things around the house, but one thing I never, ever did.. was insult him or talk down on him.
I have been called every single insulting name out there besides my real name. I have been called Bitch and cunt so many times that I feel like it was plastered on my forehead. I’ve got scars on my body that taunt me, and i wake up from nightmares all the time. I tried my best to not stress him out. I tried my best to watch my words and actions, I tried for a long time to be perfect.
You see, nobody ever saw this. Nobody believed me besides close friends who would physically see the bruises and the times I cried for help from hurting so bad. Even after this post, a lot of you will not think any of it is true and “she’s just being dramatic”. I am in no way trying to make him into a bad person, he’s really not. In fact out of all his friends.. I can safely say that he is the most loyal and caring for them.
Depression is no joke. I’ve called suicide hotlines several times in the past 6 months, I have looked into therapy and anti-depressants.. and I tried to reach out about it to him. He told me that I’m pathetic and to not bring it up around him. I was a crybaby, I sulked too much. I think this hurt me the most because he was my best friend and who I looked to for support.. but instead I was thrown away like I was invisible. I guess it just all got to me. In fact, I just texted him that I felt so alone that i wanted to end my life, and again, he replied that I am pathetic.
And you know what, I am pathetic in many ways. I am not as successful or as intelligent as him and I sure as hell am not as strong. Til this day I admire so much about him. I mean, I really did care for this person. We had a lot of good times. In the end, it was all worth it.
Although this makes him seem evil, I still don’t believe he is. It was only this way to me, and it was not always this way. I held with all I had to the last bit of what I felt I could take… but eventually when you’re told that you’re not cared about enough, you begin to not even care about yourself anymore. If I could just pinpoint how I could stop making all this hurt go away, I would… but I can’t. And that’s why I’m here.
Now I know what a lot of you are thinking, “ why did she depend her happiness over one person..” entirely not true. I would not kill myself over a guy. But could I feel more broken from what has happened? Yes. Could it exemplify my emptiness and open my wounds, yes.
Realistically, this post may seem like I decided to end my life over a failed relationship. That is not true. It may have contributed to depression but all in all, I just feel alone. I may have had spurts of happiness, but whenever things turned sour, I returned right back to where he put me.
Money was NEVER a factor into depression. I’m very thankful for all the experiences I have conquered in this short lifetime of mine. I think the main port of all this is just general happiness and support. I tried my best to get both to where I could just relieve myself of all the hurting but I could not. I thought travel would help me “find myself” many times… but realistically folks, you’re going to just explore and come back with an emptier wallet.
I decided to stream yesterday to have a better idea of how I could move on just by talking. It helped temporarily and I woke up again feeling just worst after hearing that I’m worthless again. Maybe I am not worthless to a lot of you, in fact so many messages from strangers have said that.. but feeling worthless myself is a feeling that can only be felt by me.
Maybe this post makes seem like I’m crazy and i could not control my emotions, but rather it is everything combined and just not enough energy in me to explain.
I will always thank Alexandra for always being there for me when I needed her. She really, really helped me through the toughest times in life and even right now she is wanting to help me get back on track.
HN, you know who you are. The sweetest person who helped me get through a lot in the past 2 years. So many things that we never got to talk about but I just knew you were there. I know this will hurt you bad in many different ways and leave you confused and angry. Take care of your Brandon with all your heart.. and yes I believe he will achieve his dreams of becoming an oreo one day!
BY, I am literally in awe of how great of a person you are. An insane wanderlust and witty person, and just an overall good heart. Our friendship sprouted out of no where and very soon you became somebody I trusted with everything. Wherever you end up in life down the line, I wish you nothing but the most happiness.
JN, you are the sweetest girl I didn’t deserve. Moving away from you was one of the hardest milestones in my life. 5 years of friendship and I wouldn’t have traded you for anybody in the world. Please don’t fall for anymore f-boys. I can’t be there to tell you to stop anymore and I truly hope you get all the things you want in life.
RG, I am so proud of the person you have bloomed into. Thank you for the support for many years and just being a great friend, even when you did not realize it. Make sure you stay on track for your success like we have talked about many times.
KM, you came back to me to check on me even though we were on extremely bad terms. As much as I can get angry at you, you were there for me and was my best friend for years. Ambitious and always beautiful… I wish you the best.The world is a very evil place that will slowly sink toxicity into you without realizing, remember to be humble and remember where you came from.
My brother Jon, super nice guy. Nicest guy in my family actually. hope you get your life on track and I thank you for being such a good brother when we lived together. I’m sorry for not cooking more and sometimes just nagging but in reality it was only because I cared. Love you tons bro.
Burger squad… oh boy. LA group that I met up, honestly we met through gaming but I made such valuable friendships. I act up and be mean to you guys but you’re always so caring and kind no matter what. Each and every one of you is a sincerely good person and I feel blessed to have come across you.
There are so many people I have left out in this post but hopefully you all know who you are if you have created an impact on my life.
I’m sorry to anybody that this will hurt even in the slightest way. I am the one that has to live with the feeling daily and I just can’t take it anymore. Please don’t think this is selfish. Think about it from my end. I’m tired of hurting and I’m tired of bruises on my body and I’m tired of being told I’m not worth anything. I’m tired of hiding this feeling.
But to be honest peeps, I’m done. I’m hurt to the bone and I just don’t have any will power left in me. Please understand.
• Jody
EDIT: spaced out.
submitted by Kvt_ to OhlanaTV [link] [comments]

ULTIMATE GUIDE TO QUIT PORN FOR GOOD

This is not written by me, but I HAD TO share it with all of you, because this is not some temporary trick to achieve 30, 60, 90 days target. It is a step by step guide for the complete reboot, to completely change your approach towards quitting porn and tackle PMO in the right manner.
It is extremely long, but trust me, it will change your whole perspective of quitting this addiction. Just read.
Written by - The Underdog

Porn Addiction is Being Severely Underestimated


How do I know this?
Because most people in the community believe that in order to get rid of this addiction, all they have to do is keep trying over and over again, until eventually things will just 'click' and their brains will finally become rebooted.
Very few are treating this as a true addiction. They just see it as a habit they want to break.
This is evidenced by the stubborness of many, relying purely on willpower for months, only to constantly reset their counters and beat themselves up for not making any progress.
Most people don't realize how incredibly difficult it is to completely remove artificial stimulation (of any kind) for the rest of their lives. We're talking about years and years of brain conditioning here.
We're dealing with some powerful stuff here, but it is not treated seriously enough, probably because it's widely accepted by society and is not a substance like heroine or cocaine.
I cringe when people relapse, reset their counters, and proclaim "This is it, I've had enough, I'm going to do it this time"...
Stop kidding yourself.
This is an addiction that has to be attacked from many different angles. You need a full arsenal of tools and strategies, as well as a proper mindset.
Willpower alone won't do shit.
Abstinence is NOT Recovery
What people usually try to do is go as many days clean as they can.
That's all they do.
That's all their goal.
They achieve a certain amount of days, then for whatever reason they relapse, so they start over and repeat.
That is abstaining. That is not recovering.
It is extremely common for people to achieve a certain milestone, such as 30, 90, or 100 days, relapse a few days later, and then find themselves unable to get momentum again. They go back to the beginning and they feel like they lost all their progress from their run.
There is a constant frustration for lack of progress. People are feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, trying the same thing over and over again without success.
This is because very few are addressing the real roots of their problems. Very few.
Everyone is focused on how many days they have managed and if their symptoms are either present or gone. They judge their progress by measuring dick hardness, spontaneous erections and morning woods.
They are "trying to quit porn" so that they can "get rid of their ED".
So they abstain for as long as they can, hoping that this can cure their symptoms.
Completely wrong approach.
If they don't see ED improvements, they get discouraged.
If they see ED improvements, then maybe a porn session or two won't hurt, right?
If there is no woman around, they justify watching a couple of times. After all, they are not having sex anytime soon, so whats the point?
They delay dating until their ED is cured or they have managed to go 100 days. But they never achieve this in the first place precisely because of this incorrect mentality.
The same applies to other symptoms such as social anxiety, energy levels, motivation, etc.
They try to quit porn, so that the symptoms can go away, and so they can finally live life.
People are focusing on the wrong things.
They are not changing the way they think.
They are not changing the way they live.
They are not changing the way they view sex and women.
They are just trying not to masturbate, while everything else remains the same.
That, my friends, is abstinence, not recovery.
The Foundation of a Proper Reboot
Porn addiction is not the cause of your shitty life.
Read that again.
Of course, it's difficult to improve your life when you're having intense porn sessions every single day that drain your energy and make you a zombie. But porn is not the reason your life sucks.
Please, this is very important to understand, you have to stop blaming porn for your problems.
This mentality of life awaits me after recovery is destructive.
Porn is not the reason you're a procrastinator. Porn is not the reason you're depressed. Porn is not the reason you're lonely. Porn is not the reason you haven't been able to lose weight or gain muscle.
Porn is the symptom.
You watch porn to escape reality. You watch porn to manage your emotions. You watch porn because you're bored, lonely, stressed, depressed, angry, isolated. You watch porn to feel good for a moment, to replace uncomfortable emotions and situations in your life.
Here's how you get rid of this addiction:
You don't focus on quitting porn so you can finally get to live life after you're recovered.
You focus on learning how to live, how to manage your emotions, how to change the way you think and view the world.
You put all your energy into building the life you want.
This will naturally lead your mind away from porn.
Success is not measured by how many clean days you've managed.
It's measured by how much your life has improved since you started rebooting.
This is what you need to do.

Step #1: Write a life vision for yourself


How do you envision your life a few weeks, months, or years from now?
Spend a whole day (or week) thinking about this.
Don't say I don't know what to do with my life.
Are you telling me you have no clue what you want in any of the following areas: study, work, family, friends, hobbies, health, etc.?
Even if you're not sure, you need to give your life some direction.
This is by far the most important part of recovering from pornography addiction.
Write like crazy. Write many pages if you want. Make the biggest post you've ever done in your journal talking about how you envision your future life.
This life vision will be the foundation of your reboot.
This is what you will focus on 100% from now on.
Close your eyes. Visualize it. Write it down.
If you don't know what you want in life, then this is actually a more serious issue than porn addiction itself.
Like I said, spend a whole week if you need to.
Brainstorm.
Ask for advice.
Take a notebook and go to a park.
Inspire yourself.
This is the beginning of your recovery.
Take it seriously.

Step #2: Give urgency to your life vision


Ok, now you know what you want in life. Even if you're still unsure in some areas, such as not knowing what to study, that's ok. At least you can give your life some direction for the moment. This is very important. You need to give your life direction. You need to move towards something.
Here's the problem. Many of us know what we want, but we keep delaying it. We're experts at delaying goals. We wait until New Years, or the beginning of a month, or until circumstances get better.
So this is what you're going to do now:
You're going to give urgency to your life vision.
Write down why you ABSOLUTELY MUST start working on it right now.
Make another huge post or journal entry about it.
Let's suppose you're 27 and you have no job, no car, still live with your parents, and spend most of the day playing video games. Why in the world would you wait more time before starting to do something about it? This is urgent bro. You're fucking 27!
Or maybe you've never had a girlfriend in your life before. Well, what are you waiting for? Go buy some nice clothes, start going out more frequently, make mistakes, get rejected, ask women on dates. Start getting some experience NOW.
You have back pain? Start working on it. Don't wait. The more you wait the worse it gets. Start doing yoga or swimming. Move your hips and back constantly every day.
Write down reasons why you must start pursuing your life vision right now.
You have to stop living like this.
This is urgent.
This is high priority.
We must convince ourselves that change is imminent.
It's very important.
A life vision is no good if you have no urgency.
You'll just keep delaying it. Waiting for circumstances to improve. Waiting for motivation to arrive. Waiting for the beginning of new year.
Create urgency.

Step #3: Develop an indestructible belief in yourself


One of the main reasons we quit goals is because deep inside we don't believe we're actually able to do it.
When successful people like Arnold Schwarzenegger decide they want to achieve something, they become completely obsessed about it. They have an indestructible belief that they will achieve it.
They are not affected by circumstances. They create results in their head before they even get them.
This is what you have to do if you want to accomplish anything.
For example, let's say you want to learn how to play guitar. And you have the urgency to do it, because you know it takes time, so the sooner you start the better. You have to start now.
However, after a few days of learning the basics, you start losing motivation and becoming discouraged. You realize that playing guitar is not easy at all. You feel overwhelmed by how much practice you need to put into it. You start doubting yourself and thinking "There's no way I'll ever become a great guitar player and form my own band". Friends tell you things like "Dude, you should've started years ago. All great guitarists started when they were young".
So you quit.
This is a result of a weak belief in yourself. You don't believe you have the potential to become a good guitarist. Which is obviously completely false. We as humans have unlimited potential.
Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't think like this.
Look at what he said:
How many times have you heard 'You can't do this', 'You can't do that', 'It's never been done before'. I love it when someone says ' No one has ever done this before', because when I do it, that means I'm the first person that's ever done it!
This is how we should think when we set up to do anything in life.
Uncertainty is what kills people. Not knowing if they're able to achieve it.
We need to brainwash ourselves every day into believing that we WILL do it NO MATTER WHAT.
All of these steps are equally important.
Do not skip them.
They are the foundation of your reboot.
They make rebooting so much easier. Your mind will be completely focused on what you want in life. You will be fixing the root of all your problems.
The secret of change is to focus all your energy not fighting the old, but on building the new.
Stop making posts complaining about your shitty life. Stop making posts saying how you're sick of being addicted to porn. Stop talking about porn altogether.
Instead, transform your journal into a self-improvement journal, focused 100% on moving towards the life you want.
"Forget" about porn.
This is basic rebooting stuff, yet many people are constantly breaking this rule. They write about porn cravings, morning woods, spontaneous erections, what day they're on, how much they struggled to abstain, how they can't wait to reach 90 days, etc.
When you consistently focus 100% on building the life you want, your mind will naturally move away from porn. You will also lessen the void left by quitting porn, which is very real.
Many people quit porn only to find themselves in this life emptiness that is very hard to handle. Then they go back to porn precisely because this void is too much for them.
Focusing on your life vision is a superior rebooting approach.
Relapses aren't that discouraging if you're actually improving your life. Ironically, you will notice that the more you focus on what you want, the less frequently you will relapse.
It's important that you think in terms of life vision and pursuing your dreams, not in terms of "I have to get busy and fill my life with activities so that I don't watch porn". This is something you're doing for yourself.
Stop ranting about porn.
This journey is about your LIFE.
Focus on that and the porn will go away.

Managing Your Emotional Life


Ok, let's keep going.
Porn addiction is much more than just getting cravings and relapsing.
One of the reasons we become addicted is because of our inability to manage our emotional lives.
You have to remind yourself that quitting porn is about growing up and becoming a much more mature person.
It's much more than I want to quit porn so I can cure ED and have plenty of sex with women!.
Much more than that.
We've been using porn for years as a method of handling our emotions.
We need to stop hiding away from uncomfortable life situations. We need to stop using porn in order to escape from reality.
We must learn how to handle life and emotions without the need of porn.
We need to understand that one of the reasons we relapse is because we're pussies that can't handle negative emotions.
We use porn as medication. We use porn to hide away from life. We use porn to temporarily relief anxiety, stress, loneliness, boredom, anger, etc.
Readjusting Your Sexual Expectations
This is by far one of the most difficult things to do.
When you quit porn, you're not just saying good bye to artificial stimulation.
You're leaving behind the world of "never ending flow of hot chicks with big tits and round asses".
Real life is nothing like that.
We've been spoiled by porn. We believe that we should be out there having lots of sex with different women. We believe that this is the key to happiness and fulfillment.
The problem is that it is incredibly difficult and unrealistic to "fuck hot chicks on a regular basis".
There's nothing particularly wrong with having that goal, but you have to be willing to take some MASSIVE action. You have to go through hundreds of rejections. You need to have a lot of balls. You must do what 99.9% of men are incredibly afraid to do.
How many people here are doing what it takes to have the kind of sexual life we all dream about?
Very few, if any. We see these super hot chicks on tight dresses and we hope that maybe someday we might be able to have sex with them. We read books about seduction. We visit PUA forums. We watch videos on YouTube of guys approaching girls. We make theories and discuss them online.
But we aren't doing shit about it.
It's all just a dream. An idea we have in our minds. Something we hope someday we will do.
Here's how most people get laid in real life:
A guy meets a girl he finds attractive, so he asks her out. They get to know each other. Then they continue to go out and form some sort of relationship. Then after some months the relationship either becomes serious or falls apart.
That's the real world.
You have to accept that, unless you're willing to take massive action, you won't fuck anywhere near as many women as you expect to.
Accepting this is very difficult, but it is necessary.
We need to learn how to live without this world of endless hot chicks, otherwise we'll become extremely disappointed and dissatisfied with real life, which is nothing like porn.
Anyone here is more than capable of getting a girlfriend. But our girlfriends most likely won't look like pornstars, nor they will act like them.
There's a very high probability the sex won't be pornographic in nature. There's going to be a lot of sensuality, caressing, and also clumsiness. Some days your girl will look sexy, other days not so much. Some days she'll be in the mood, other days she won't. Some days you'll struggle to keep it hard, other days you'll cum too fast. She might be able to achieve orgasms, or she might not. You might do it every other day, or maybe only 3-4 times per month.
Remember, pornstars are paid thousands of dollars to do what they're told and fulfill all your fantasies.
You must stop living in dream land.
I know this is very difficult to accept, but we have to give meaning to our lives outside fucking hot chicks.
Our happiness cannot depend on that. Otherwise you'll keep coming back to porn every time you fail to get laid in real life. You will remain attached to "sex with hot chicks" for the rest of your life. You have to change the way you view sex and women, because I can assure you it has been completely distorted by porn.
By the way, I don't believe there's anything wrong about pursuing casual sex instead of a relationship, just make sure you keep both feet on the ground.
I would also like to add that relationships are about sharing your life with another person. I know many people here want a girlfriend so that they can finally start getting laid, but relationships go much more deeper than that.
If you've never had a girlfriend before you'll know once you get one.
Thinking About Sex is USELESS
What's the point of fantasizing?
It accomplishes nothing.
It slows down the reboot, increases the urge to masturbate, and reinforces neurological pathways related to porn.
It's a meaningless activity that should be eliminated.
It keeps your mind focused on sex, tits, asses, fucking, when it should be shifted towards other activities in life.
If you find yourself thinking about sex, you should mindfully and calmly redirect your attention to something else.
You want sex?
Great.
Then do something to actually make it happen.
Fantasizing by itself serves no purpose at all.
You need to understand that if you want to abstain from orgasm and masturbation, you cannot be thinking about sex and women, because this will inevitably cause you to relapse. Trying to abstain while at the same time fantasizing or peeking at pictures of chicks will only lead to frustration.
Stay away from any kind of artificial stimulation. Don't take peeks. Don't browse pictures of girls online. Don't type pornstar names on Google image search. Don't read escort forums.
Do not arouse yourself.
Basically you have to adopt a philosophy of "I'm either trying to get laid (approaching, texting girls, going out on dates, flirting with women, hanging out with friends, getting rejected) or doing something completely unrelated to sex (work, studying, exercise, fun, reading, playing an instrument, chores, housework, watching movies)".
There is no grey area where you are alone thinking about sex or checking out girls online. This accomplishes nothing. It serves no real purpose. It will only increase urges, lead to relapse, and make you frustrated.
As soon as erotic thoughts pop up in your mind, you should calmly ignore them and refocus your attention to something else. You keep practicing this forever until you master it.
You have to attack this addiction right from the root. Trying to abstain from hardcore porn accomplishes nothing if you're still constantly fantasizing and peeking.
If you keep strengthening the mindset I talked about above, you will be making meaningful progress.
This used to be called "Monk Mode", but I don't like that name because it implies that you're going to become celibate.
This isn't about becoming celibate. This is about doing what it takes if you want to get laid, instead of wasting mental energy on sexual thoughts that will only improve the chances of relapsing.
If you ever want to achieve a long streak, you can't be checking out girls online, even if it's just some bikini pictures. You can't be fantasizing when you wake up in the morning. You can't be taking 5 second peeks at porn.
As soon as you do any of those things, this huge beast called porn addiction will take control over your prefrontal cortex and it's just a matter of time before you relapse.
You have to be extreme.
But don't worry, it's much easier than it sounds.
It's actually harder to stop yourself from relapsing once you're already thinking about sex, than it is to not think about sex in the first place.
How do you not think about sex?
Simple.
Focus your mind 100% on your life vision.
Every....single....day.
Dismissing erotic thoughts as soon as they arrive in your mind is the cornerstone for preventing relapses.
This is basic stuff guys.
It's Not Orgasm What You Crave
Many people here believe that abstaining from orgasm is the most difficult part of rebooting.
WRONG.
When you get porn cravings, your brain is not asking for orgasm. As an addict, it is begging you for your hit. It misses the high, the tits, the asses, the novelty, the rush, the unrealistic sexual scenarios, the fantasies, the super hot chicks, the perfect camera shots, the feeling of letting go and indulging in pleasure, the fucking, the cumshots, the doggystyles, the boobs bouncing around, etc.
If lack of orgasm was the problem, then everyone would just fap without porn (or any other artificial stimulation). There would be no relapses and everyone would have 500+ day counters.
The urge to ejaculate only becomes a real problem once you start peeking, edging or fantasizing constantly. When you find yourself in a state of arousal then obviously you will want to cum.
But the initial urges are "addiction urges". They are mental. They are not a physical need for ejaculation.
If you feed these urges by peeking, even if it's just pictures of hot babes in bikini, then they will invade your mind and rob you of your ability to concentrate or remain calm. Eventually "autopilot" mode will be engaged and we all know what happens next.
You're not having urges to cum.
You're having urges for a "high" and a "rush".
Remember that.
This is why porn urges don't go away when you get a girlfriend.
It is a drug, and you need to learn how to live without it, regardless of whether you have a girlfriend or not.
When you abstain for several days or weeks, your sensitized pathways are anxiously waiting for any sexual cue, no matter how short or brief. This is why people mistakenly confuse real libido with porn cravings. They take a peek at porn after 15 days and they feel this intense rush and urge to cum, so they conclude that it is libido and that they must relieve pressure.
The problem was taking a peek in the first place. Had they just focused on more important things instead, they would've been able to finish the day clean without problem.
If you manage to completely abstain from fantasizing and checking out chicks online (in any form), then going a long time without orgasm won't be a problem.
And don't even think about testing or caressing your dick.
Focus 100% on your life vision.

Counters vs Spreadsheets


The following advice is aimed particularly towards those members who are having trouble getting a good run. If you're already doing good, you can skip this section.
Ok, here's the thing:
There is a sickening obsession with long streaks on this forum.
People like counters because supposedly they are helpful for tracking progress.
Well, guess what? Spreadsheets do a much better job at that.
There's a reason why I'm so stubborn with this anti-counter thing.
They are dangerous, destructive, counterproductive.
Counters reinforce the idea of being "back to zero" every time you relapse, making it way more justifiable to binge before starting over again. Not only that, but you completely lose track of how many times you're actually masturbating. They don't show the whole picture. There is absolutely no way to measure your progress at all. It's a never ending cycle of abstaining for a few days and then going back to zero.
Every time you reset your counter you become increasingly discouraged and unmotivated.
There's too much emphasis on what day you're on, no fap challenges (there are currently 7 no fap challenges running, it's ridiculous), 90 days, 100 days, etc.
If you're consistently unable to get past XX days and you're always in the low numbers, then your counter has lost its purpose.
Counters are only good when you've managed a good run, because this gives you a sense of accomplishment and provides sufficient accountability to actually prevent relapses sometimes.
Now, let's talk about spreadsheets:
- They keep your addiction under control: By keeping track of how many times you're actually masturbating and having orgasms, you will be forced to keep it in the low numbers. If you relapse, the spreadsheet will discourage you to binge, especially when you're sharing it with the forum. A good rule of thumb is to try to keep your orgasm count to less than 5 per month.
- They allow you to see the full picture. In gameover's words: "You don't realise how you forget over a month how many times you actually masturbate, peek, pmo or orgasm until you have it in front of you. I thought i was well under 3-4 orgasms a month but I have been up around 6-7 and this month was no better." You'll be surprised at how many times you're actually fapping.
- They completely eliminate the "counting" factor. All you have to do is keep it as clean as you can. Pretty cool eh? No more counting, no more 90 day goals, no more fap challenges. After all, we're trying to quit porn for life, not just 100 days or whatever.
- They will never discourage you. If you do relapse, you input it on the spreadsheet and move on. You don't make a new thread called "Relapsed again" or "Not making any progress". Trust me, if you went from fapping 25 times per month to 2-3 times per month, you're making huge progress, even if your counter only says "6 days".
Spreadsheets are NOT a taper off approach, of course. The goal should always be to never watch porn, to be as clean as you can, to take it one day at a time.
Tapering off, as in "I watched porn 20 times last month, so I'll watch it 15 times this month", will never work. You should never think like this. You should never give yourself the green light to PMO.
Ideally, you should replace your counter with a spreadsheet and completely forget about what day you're on. Then, if you do manage to get on a good run, you can put your counter back up for accountability and motivational purposes.
However, I understand many people here are in love with their counters.
They look pretty.
They are fancy.
I get it, I get it.
So this is what I propose:
(Once again, this ONLY applies to people who are struggling. If you're already on day 70 or whatever then don't change anything, but consider using a spreadsheet if you do end up relapsing.)

Conclusion


To sum it up, the typical rebooting advice of Hey man, just do a 90 day reboot is basically useless.
This is a very serious addiction and should be treated as such.
Willpower alone won't do it.
Change the way you live.
Change the way you think.
And please, stop making so many posts about porn, cravings, urges, relapsing, erections, 90 days, etc.
Instead, focus on the most important thing:
Your life.

Gotta clarify some things:
I have never said that the reason we started watching porn was because of life problems. In fact, I would argue that is not the case for the majority of us.
I didn't have any childhood issues or family problems when I was young. I just discovered porn on my own and liked it because it was very pleasurable. As kids and teenagers we are curious and horny.
However, as years go by, we become dependent on it not only because of its extreme addictive nature and accessibility, but also because we start using it as a way to cope with life.
The reason we start using porn and the reason we continue to use porn once we're addicts aren't necessarily the same.
I also didn't mean to say that all porn addicts have shitty lives. Actually by shitty all I mean is being dissatisfied in one way or another. Maybe you constantly put off your goals. Or maybe you waste a lot of time online and want to change that. That doesn't mean your life is shit. It just means it could be better.
I am completely aware there are exceptions. There is a guy who told me he had no problems getting instant makeouts and fucking chicks the same day he meets them. There are others who actually have incredibly busy lives and only watch porn to get some pleasure and relax.
Whatever your situation is, the main point of my post still stands. You should focus on moving towards what you want, instead of constantly complaining and wasting lots of energy on staying away from porn.
Concentrate on building the life you dream about and this will help you tremendously on your quest to overcome your addiction to porn.
submitted by repcaqq04 to pornfree [link] [comments]

[Method] Always put yourself first!!

Wow, what a big night. So, a little backstory about myself...I have probably dated non-stop since I was 16 years old (I’m now 23F). Prior to entering law school, I made a move across the country with a girl I believed I was going to marry, and when that ended, I jumped into another relationship that I had NO business being in. And that’s on me. So, it’s been about three months and I’ve been ~casually~ dating. Well tonight, a girl (yes, I’m gay) wanted to take it to the next level and be exclusive. My old self would’ve said yes, or at least, would’ve said that I can work towards that & that I’ll (eventually) be ready. But tonight, I KNEW that it wasn’t right, that I still needed more time to be alone and work on myself, my career, my platonic relationships. I need this time. So, I told her that I couldn’t do that right now, and that was it. This was a HUGE milestone for me, usually I would jump from relationship to relationship seeking that feeling of being loved and cared for. But I’m beginning to realize that I need to give that to myself before I put myself in a relationship. That took a lot of self-discipline and growing to LITERALLY put myself first, put what I NEEDED first instead of what I wanted. I hope this helps anyone who feels similar. Always put yourself first, personal growth is SO important. YOU GOT THIS!🙏😊
submitted by howiezmom to getdisciplined [link] [comments]

r/NFL Top 100 Players of the 2019 Season - #10-6

Welcome to the reveal for players ranked 10-6 for this year’s NFL Top 100 Players for the 2019 Season!

Players whose average rank had them land in places 10-6 are on this portion of the list revealed today. Players are associated with the team they finished 2019 with.
Below you will see write-ups from rankers summarizing the players' 2019 season and why they were among the best in 2019. Stats for each player are from this season and are included below. Additionally, their previous ranks in this long running series are also available for all of you.
Methodology
LINK TO THE HUB POST WITH A MORE DETAILED DESCRIPTION OF THE METHODOLOGY
  1. A CALL FOR RANKERS just after the Super Bowl.
  2. Rankers for each team nominated players to rank. 10 Games Played Minimum Threshold. Players are associated with the team they finished the 2019 Season with.
  3. The Grind. Utilize ranking threads for individual rankers broken up by positional group. Users were tasked with ranking players within the following tiers based on their evaluation: T-25, T-50, T-100, T-125 based on 2019 regular season only. There were no individual case threads. There were no arbitrary position limit caps. Just questions and rankings.
  4. Users submitted their individual Top 125 list. Ranking out to 125 is new for this year.
  5. User lists were reviewed for outliers by me with assistance from two former rankers. Users were permitted to correct any mistakes found. Once complete, lists were locked.
  6. Reveal the list… right now.
So now, without further ado, here are the players ranked 10-6 in the NFL Top 100 Players of the 2019 Season!

#10 - Tre’Davious White - Cornerback - Buffalo Bills

Accolades
Accolade Total Year
NFL Pro Bowl 1 2019
AP All-Pro 1st Team 1 2019
PFWA All-Rookie Team 1 2017
/NFL Top 100 3 2017 (53), 2018 (63), 2019 (10)
Written By: jiggs_
Introduction
Even in high school, it was obvious that Tre'Davious White was bound to be the greatest at his position. In fact, in his entire high school career he never gave up a single goal. I am, of course, referring to White's hockey career. In fact, looking just at the numbers, Tre White isn't just good, he is the greatest goalie in the entire state of Louisiana. Coming out of the Tre White Goalie Academy, many thought he would have chosen to be a hockey player, but luckily for the NHL he decided that football was where he truly belonged.
Look, I know I just wasted a paragraph of an important top-10 writeup to get a pity laugh (pls?) from you all, but I think it's important to understand that the Buffalo Bills have never been an organization with a player like Tre White. The players that join the Bills are usually guys who keep their heads down and (try to) do their jobs well. Hell, the most exciting thing our players did in the decade before Tre White is dance in an Applebee's. And that's fine, if you're winning, but when you lose for so long I almost feel I'm missing a big part of the NFL fandom experience because they are all just so… boring. And it feels almost directly opposite of the fan experience that we have. Bills Mafia is outspoken and, quite honestly, batshit insane, so it would be nice to have a player who without question shows that football in Buffalo is more than just hard work, it's fucking fun. So please excuse me for wanting to make sure that White's personality (and his ability to perfectly emulate the voice of Vontae Davis) is being showcased just as much as his ability as a top corner in the NFL.
The 2019 Season
Now let's get down to the facts, because what is PFFs SIXTEENTH ranked cornerback doing in our top ten? Tre'Davious White allowed a 46.3 Passer Rating when targeted (2nd only behind JC Jackson), had six interceptions (tied-1st in NFL among qualified CBs), and allowed zero touchdowns all season (1st place, obviously). Tre White hardly ever gives up a big play, but if he does he sure as hell isn't going to let you in the endzone. Limiting touchdowns on big plays gives way for the Bills to make stops and force crucial field goals which kept our subpar offense in games.
To add on top of the discussed stats above, Tre White also spent much of his time shadowing top receivers, which makes his stat sheet even more incredible. It also makes the ranking given by PFF even more baffling, considering we pull all of our stats from THEIR SITE. But I digress. Tre White is technically a zone cornerback, but the Bills smartly use him quite a bit to cover top receivers in a fairly convoluted match zone scheme (along with running man coverage a decent amount of time, as well). Here are some notable PFF shadow coverage stats for Tre White. Against OBJ he gave up only three catches on ten targets for 27 yards, effectively shutting down the Browns' top passing threat for the entire game. He also shadowed Courtland Sutton (1/7, 27Yds), Terry McLaurin (3/4, 27Yds), and Amari Cooper (3/6, 37Yds). These aren't only good players, they are great players. Many actually found themselves on this very list, and most had their worst game of the season up against Tre White. Lastly, my favorite stat among all of this was posted by Warren Sharp a couple months ago, when he said “Since 2006, White is the only player to lead the NFL in interceptions without allowing a single TD. 2019: 6 INTs, 2 forced fumbles, 4 tackles for loss. He just turned 25.” A truly mind-blowing stat, considering the last one to do this was future HOFer Champ Bailey.
Now I think I will showcase some film work of guys who have gone through more time and effort to make a logical breakdown of some of Tre White's best plays/games. First, we have Baldy's Breakdowns. Ignoring the god awful film quality, Baldy does a fairly good job of highlighting some of the stuff that Tre White did to cool off a red hot Courtland Sutton. It's not super detailed work, but studying CBs isn't exactly the most glamorous thing. Next, we have an (admittedly long) breakdown of just about every aspect of Tre's game. As usual with these smaller accounts, I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the film work here. Tre White's anticipation, in particular, stands out constantly on film and shows just how much work he puts in preparing before every game to know every route he will see. Lastly, I will link the NFL Turning Point from this year. This one is obviously leaving out the fact that it's against Duck Hodges, but it should not discount how fantastic Tre White played throughout the whole game. In particular, his interception against James Washington is of note as some fantastic technique against a double move.
In summation, Gilmore and White were head and shoulders above the other CBs this season, so seeing them both in the top 10 was no surprise. I do think Tre White has a legitimate case for CB1 of 2019, but it's tough to argue against the DPOY and not sound like a homer.
Legacy
Tre'Davious White is 25 years old. We just (obviously) took his fifth year option and I fully expect the Bills to offer him CB1 money. A cornerback like Tre White is not only fantastic for every scheme in the NFL, but even moreso under McDermott in particular. Our zone bilitz scheme (reminiscent of Jimmie Johnson), needs top tier talent in coverage to make up for the relatively simple zone structure that a good QB can use against the defense if not disguised properly. Being able to place a top receiver on an island in any scheme is a luxury that does not come around often, and to have someone doing that at 25 is even more insane. Therefore, I truly believe we are witnessing a hall of fame career that has blossomed right before our eyes, and it is truly a treat to watch him work every week. Not to mention all of the dance moves I have since been able to master thanks to watching the master himself.

#9 - T.J. Watt - EDGE - Pittsburgh Steelers

Accolades
Accolade Total Year
NFL Pro Bowl 2 2018, 2019
AP All-Pro 1st Team 1 2019
AP All-Pro 2nd Team 1 2019
PFWA All-Rookie Team 1 2017
/NFL Top 100 2 2018 (72), 2019 (9)
Written By: schmatz17
Introduction
Step aside J.J there is a new Watt brother in-charge. The former Wisconsin product originally came to college as a Tight End prospect but made the transition to the defensive side of the ball in 2015. After an incredible 2016 season Watt found himself in the discussion of first-round edge rusher prospects, but due to his rawness at the position fell all the way to pick #30 (Sorry Packers fans) to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Since then the Steelers haven’t thought twice about selecting Watt who has quickly developed into one of the league’s most dominant figures on the edge. TJ Watt’s presence on the Steelers defense has been immense, as the Steelers have led the league in sacks per game over each of the three years since he entered the league. This past season we saw the Steelers defense return to the days of the Steel Curtain and nearly carry the league’s worst offense into the playoffs.
The 2019 Season

Sacks QB Hits Passes Deflected Forced Fumbles Interceptions Tackles for Loss
14.5 36 8 8 2 14
At first glance at T.J Watt’s statistics from last year, it is easy to see why he was a finalist for the NFL’s Defensive Player of the Year award and selected as the teams 2019 MVP. Watt’s impressive ability to rush the passer helped the Steelers claim the third-ranked pass defense, as well as, the fifth-best defense in terms of total yardage. In a season filled with some of the dullest offensive play the NFL may have ever seen, the new era of the Steel Curtain was able to create enough turnovers to keep this team in the playoff hunt, much to the credit of T.J. Watts NFL leading 8 fumbles (most in Steelers history) and 36 QB hits helping to force bad passes (2019 highlights). It felt as though in each and every game Watt was consistently making plays and disrupting the offense, with a statistical season that rivals Aaron Donalds 2017 DPOY campaign. Although Watt ultimately did not win the 2019 DPOY award, he was the only player since 1993 to have 10+ sacks, 5 FFs, 3 FRs, and 2 INTs in a single season, and captured his second straight Pro Bowl, 1st team All-Pro honors (edge rusher), and 2nd team All-Pro honors (as a linebacker).
Overall, despite a disappointing season for the Pittsburgh Steelers as a whole, the 2019 season gave us a peek into what this Steelers team can look like in 2020. With a healthy Ben Rothlisberger and Stephan Tuitt, the Pittsburgh Steelers could find themselves back in the playoffs in 2020, and perhaps help Watt claim a much deserved DPOY award to add to the Watt family trophy hall. Watt’s energy and leadership on and off the field will help usher in a new era of Steel Curtain defenses for years to come.
Legacy
Entering his fourth season in the league Watt is looking to live up to his brother J.J.’s (sorry Dereck) status as one of the elite pass rushers in history, and to further solidify himself as one of the Steelers All-Time great defenders. Ever since the James Harrisons 2012 season, the Steelers have been hunting for an elite pass-rushing presence, with likes of Jason Worilds, Jarvis Jones, and Arthur Moats failing to live up to expectations, it seems as though they have found their answer in Watt. Watt has been simply put exceptional in his first three seasons and might just be the best Edge defender in all of football. I fully expect T.J’s name to be in next season DPOY race and for it to be back at the top of this ranking.
The Steelers 2017 draft class might have been too good with the likes of T.J Watt (All-Pro), Juju (Pro Bowl), Cam Sutton (solid player), and James Conner (Pro Bowl) all up for extensions this season, it hard to imagine the Steelers not losing some key pieces this offseason especially with Watt expecting to cash in big time. However, it’s not often that an NFL team lets a young top talent walk, so I fully expect Watt to return on a record-setting contract and to continue to solidify himself as a top NFL defender, and one of the Steelers legends.

#8 - George Kittle - Tight End - San Francisco 49ers

Accolades
Accolade Total Year
NFL Pro Bowl 2 2018, 2019
AP All-Pro 1st Team 1 2019
AP All-Pro 2nd Team 1 2018
/NFL Top 100 2 2018 (9), 2019 (8)
Written By: scmsf49
Introduction
At this point, anyone who watches football more than a few times a year knows who George Kittle is. The 146th overall pick of the 2017 draft made it known last year that he’s not only the best player in the league at his position- he’s one of the best players in the NFL at any position. He doubled down this season, though missing a few games and playing injured in others might lead someone glancing at his numbers to believe it was a down season. The next paragraph will clear that up, but there’s an ongoing discussion about George Kittle right now that deserves to be brought up, and everyone who’s been refreshing the sub for news these last few months knows that that discussion pertains to his next contract. Kittle likely aims to, and deserves to absolutely shatter the tight end market. $11 million a season is downright disrespectful for a player who does more for the 49ers offense than any non-quarterback does for any offense, and it’ll be interesting to see what the eventual price tag is, especially when you compound his situation with whatever the hell is going to happen with the salary cap because of lost ticket revenue.
2019
George Kittle’s box score statistics don’t properly tell the story of his season (and they likely never will), but there are two numbers that do a pretty good job of putting his year into perspective. Kittle had 3.11 yards per route run. No other player, wide receivers included, broke the 3.0 barrier in 2019, and Julio Jones is the only player in the last decade to top 3.11. The other is the 49ers’ yards per carry in the run game. For the 2 games Kittle missed, the 49ers averaged 2.6 yards per carry on the ground. That number was 4.8 in the 14 he played. Kittle was an elite receiver, producing more per route than anyone else in the NFL, and he was an elite blocker, paving the way for one of the league’s best rushing attacks, which in turn helped set up the 49ers’ dominant play action. Kittle is a key cog in every single dimension of the offense.
For the 2019 season, PFF awarded Kittle with their Dwight Stevenson award, given to the best player in a given season regardless of position.This is typically reserved for JJ Watt or Aaron Donald, and Kittle is actually only the 2nd offensive player to ever win the award after Tom Brady. His 2019 season was also the highest graded tight end season of the PFF era by a full 3 points.
Some of Kittle’s notable blocks of the season include that time he destroyed Clay Matthews, and the the murder of a Falcon in a game where Kittle caught 11 passes and was essentially the team’s entire offense.
The blocking is incredibly necessary and can be really entertaining to watch, but most people want to see crazy catches, and Kittle also delivers there, like when he somehow managed to get his feet down in the end zone against the Rams. Staying in the division, here’s a ridiculous catch and run on an injured ankle against the Cardinals. No discussion of Kittle’s 2019 is complete without the play of the year in the game of the year. Kittle is incredibly dangerous with the ball in his hands, he made that extremely apparent last season when he broke the record for yards after the catch - not for tight ends, for everyone. Sometimes, though, he doesn’t need to dodge defenders or make contested grabs. Occasionally it’s really, really easy.
Bonus highlight: Kittle even finds time to make sure his QB stays safe.
Legacy/Future
There’s not really a ton to say about a third year player’s legacy. He’s been a top 10 player for two consecutive seasons and figures to continue doing that for years to come. Some 49ers fans might be (justifiably) terrified that the team will treat his contract negotiation like he’s just another tight end and not an elite offensive weapon, and the team does not have the luxury to trade Kittle like they did with Buckner, we don’t have a bunch of elite skill position offensive players sitting around to help offset a loss like that that would probably take the 49ers out of contention. Kittle’s contract situation, like any top 10 player, is a major storyline to watch for the next few months.

#7 - Patrick Mahomes - Quarterback - Kansas City Chiefs

Accolades
Accolade Total Year
NFL Pro Bowl 2 2018, 2019
NFL MVP 1 2018
Super Bowl MVP 1 2019
NFL Offensive Player of the Year 1 2018
AP All-Pro 1st Team 1 2018
Bert Bell Award 1 2018
/NFL Top 100 2 2018 (2), 2019 (7)
Written By: DTSportsNow
Intro: Patrick Lavon Mahomes II, quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs, third season of his career but just his second starting. Already an NFL MVP, record holder, and savior of a franchise. Soon to be awarded the richest contract in NFL history and it may still be an understatement to what Mahomes has already done for this team. Despite all that 2019 didn't come without trouble. At one moment it seemed like his season could be lost for the year, and perhaps the trajectory of his whole career could change. But this is Mahomes we're talking about. He wouldn't go down without a fight, and so this is the story of Patrick Mahomes in 2019.
Coming off an MVP campaign that saw Patrick Mahomes and crew fall tragically short of a Super Bowl appearance expectations were expectantly high. With the vulnerable Bob Sutton and his defence cast out of Kansas City, fans let their expectations fly as many had held back before the previous season. Talk of a potential 19-0 campaign was brought up by a number of fans, and how could you blame them? The Magic Man Mahomes had come in and brought the team to new heights not seen since long before many had even been born. 5,097 passing yards and 50 touchdowns were new season records for the Kansas City Chiefs, and would have been for a number of teams in the league. How would he follow it up? Chiefs Kingdom was dying to know.
2019 Season: It was a season that began much like it had the previous, 1,195 passing yards and 10 touchdowns, it was hard not to believe Mahomes may be on the path to reach even new heights not seen in the entire league over. Already on the path to another 5,000+ yard and 50+ TD season, we'd already seen him do it once; could he do it again? Winning convincingly against Jacksonville, Oakland, and Baltimore, could those 19-0 dreams be coming true? He had suffered an ankle injury in the first week and otherwise appeared fine, but was he?
Over the next three weeks the Chiefs scraped by the Detriot Lions and suffered bad losses against the Indianapolis Colts and the Houston Texans. Mahomes, ended his Chiefs record streak of throwing at least 2+ touchdown passes against the Lions, just one game short of tying the NFL record held by Peyton Manning. He also suffered another ankle injury against the Colts as backup left tackle Cameron Erving accidentally stepped on it getting pushed back. After that second ankle injury it was clear Mahomes looked off, his rating and completion percentages were down as his bad throw percentage went up. But that was the least of his problems.
During week 7 on a QB sneak in the endzone Mahomes went down and had trouble getting back up. Replay showed his knee getting bent weirdly and everyone feared for the worst. A knee dislocation and any ligament damage could sideline him for the year. We'd later find out that it was a kneecap dislocation and that he season may not be over, but he'd still likely be out for some time. But again this is Mahomes, and he only missed the next two matchups.
In his first game back Mahomes came out firing, 50 attempts were the most he'd throw for all season and one was a thing of beauty. Although the Chiefs lost the game Mahomes showed he was back and ready to continue the fight through the season. The Chiefs would not lose again for the rest of the year and through to the Super Bowl following that game. As Mahomes healed from his injuries he returned back to his former dominant self, finishing the last 4 games of the season as the 2nd highest graded QB. Despite his missed time and being hampered by injuries, Mahomes managed to finish the season with 4,031 yards, 26 touchdowns, and just 5 interceptions. A season that would be pretty good for an average QB.
Legacy: What can you say about a QB who in two seasons won league MVP and Super Bowl MVP that hasn't already been said? With just those two season as a full time starter Mahomes has already cemented himself in NFL history, and is on a path like few have ever seen before. Despite being injury hampered through much of the 2019 season Mahomes again to be one of the best QBs in the league. Proving that even an 80% Mahomes is still better than a number of other QB's at 100%. What's crazy too is that Mahomes admitted he didn't fully understand how to read defenses until halfway through 2019.
"I didn't understand how to read defenses until, like, halfway through last year," he said. "I understood coverages, but being able to pick up little tendencies defenses do, stuff that Brady and them have done — I was just playing."
With another offseason to study and learn how far can Mahomes go? Has he already reached his peak? After his 2018 season Mahomes started to get a lot of comparisons to Dan Marino, who similarly threw for over 5,000 yards in his second season; but Marino never won a Super Bowl. Mahomes is in new territory of career trajectory. He's in control of his own legacy, and that legacy in the mind of Mahomes and Chiefs Kingdom is GOAT or bust.

#6 - Russell Wilson - Quarterback - Seattle Seahawks

Accolades
Accolade Total Year
NFL Pro Bowl 7 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2017, 2018, 2019
AP All-Pro 2nd Team 1 2019
/NFL Top 100 8 2012 (68), 2013 (60), 2014 (64), 2015 (22), 2016 (98), 2017 (28), 2018 (25), 2019 (6)
Written By: MattyT7
Introduction
I must confess, father, for I have sinned. I did not always believe in Christ. That all changed in 2012 when the Seahawks drafted Future’s eskimo brother and Future Jr.’s daddy, Russell “Jesus Christ himself in a 5’11 snack of a fuckin body” Wilson. Since he’s been in the league, all Russell Wilson has done is win. He holds the record for most wins by a quarterback in their first 7 seasons (75), has a career passer rating above 100, and like a hundred 4th quarter stats and records because Pete Carroll has a fetish for sending people into cardiac arrest. He’s also the first quarterback in NFL History with a winning record in each of his first eight seasons and PFF says he leads the NFL in big time throws since 2018, which is a big deal since we all know the PFF big time throws stat is THE way to measure a quarterback. Very cool Russell!
The 2019 Season
Russell “clearly the hotter part of his relationship” Wilson was pretty damn good in 2019. NBC Sports kindly put together this handy list of the milestones and records Russ accomplished this past season. Spoiler alert, there’s a lot. The season began with more of what we’re used to from #3; putting Seattle entirely on his back. From handling the Steelers with a 300 yard/3 TD game in week 2 to throwing four touchdowns (including this absolute dime with a great catch from Lockett) en route to taking down the Rams, Russ was largely tasked with overcoming slow starts throughout the season with the teams stout commitment to the run game. Still, though, Russell Wilson delivered time and time again. Even in the loss to the Saints in week 3 where the deficit was simply too large to overcome, Russ “the Trouserhammer” Wilson threw for over 400 yards and scored 4 total touchdowns in the only game of the season where he threw 50 passes.
The second loss of the season came at the hands of the Llama himself, a game in which the Trouserhammer threw his first interception of the season… in week 7. This midseason stretch saw a 5 game winning streak with wins against 3 playoff-bound teams in the Eagles, the Vikings, and the 49ers. Oh, and not to mention his 378/5 TD performance against Captain LASIK and the Buccaneers. The Seahawks would go 1-3 on the final four games of the season, but that didn’t stop the ol’ Trouserhammer from putting up a season stat line of 4,110 yards and 31 touchdowns to only 5 interceptions with a 66.1 completion percentage. He also added another 342 yards and 3 touchdowns on the ground.
In the 2019 season, we saw a lot more of that beautiful touch Russ makes to put the ball right in his receivers hands. We saw a lot of the magic he is capable of. This season also saw Russell deal with yet another poor year of offensive line play. Here’s the Trouserhammer managing to throw a dime on a trick play with turnstile Joey Hunt at center. The defense lost legend Earl Thomas. Doug Baldwin retired. And Russell “OG Mula Savage 420” Wilson went out and played the best football of his career. A major development in 2019 was the drafting and progress of rookie wide receiver DK Metcalf. Russell established a pretty immediate rapport with DK en route to a 900 yard 7 touchdown rookie season (and a 160 yard 1 touchdown performance in his first career playoff game). Wilson and Metcalf have been training throughout the offseason, and if DK continues to grow and thrive, we could see some EVEN BETTER football from the Trouserhammer. Not to mention he's an absolute smokeshow
Legacy
All Russell Wilson does is win, baby. He drags the Seahawks kicking and screaming to fourth quarter comebacks if that’s what it takes. After earning a Super Bowl ring in his second year in the league, Russell Wilson has genuinely grown and matured into a true, distinguished pocket quarterback with an impeccable escapability trait and knack to make magic happen. He has established himself as a true top 3 quarterback in the NFL and at 31 has plenty of time to dominate and earn some more rings. Who knows? He may even be able to nab a MVP vote someday on his journey to the Hall.
Despite Pete Carroll’s belief in establishing a healthy run game, it would be a welcome change to see Seattle become if even just slightly more pass-happy, allowing the game to be in Russell’s hands throughout rather than forcing him to play hero in the second half. He has proven himself as an elite NFL quarterback and continuously put the city of Seattle on his big, manly, beautiful shoulders. Russell Wilson is my lord and savior. Russell Wilson is who I see when I close my eyes in bed late at night. Russell Wilson is the man I call daddy. And most importantly, Russell Wilson is one of the best players in the NFL.

LINK TO 2019 POSITIONAL GROUPING TRACKER

LINK TO 2019 RANKER SHEETS

LINK TO HUB

Schedule Change

The series Post Mortem will take place July 22 instead of July 15. I won’t be able to post on the original date.
submitted by MikeTysonChicken to nfl [link] [comments]

Had a breakup. Tell me is anything wrong with me?

Had a breakup like 5 minutes ago. I have nobody to talk to. Someone please talk to me, listen to what I have to say, because she didn't. Tell me if something is wrong with me, or is something wrong with her. Console me. Tell me it'll be alright.
submitted by sadbreakupthrow to SeriousConversation [link] [comments]

Celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride Month With These Anime!

June is LGBTQ+ Pride Month and here in Helsinki, we have Pride Week in the final week of June. Regardless of where you live, Pride Month is a time for increased visibility of LGBTQ+ people and with that intent in mind, I came up with this Compilation Watch This Thread for anime featuring characters that fall under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, organized by letters in LGBTQ.
Beware of spoilers beyond this point. These spoilers will reveal the queer identity of characters in various anime.

Anime With Lesbians

Yuri Kuma Arashi (Yuri Bear Storm)

Content Warning
Yurikuma Arashi is a direct critique of the idea that Girls' Love is pure and free of any sexual desire. The idea that lesbian love is a form of fleeting adolescent intimacy between girls allows people (often straight males) to indulge in a voyeuristic fantasy by stripping would-be lesbians of their sexuality and treating their intimacy as a platonic relationship that's merely service for onlookers. Yurikuma Arashi is a critique of how queer people are often commodified and their personal identities are drastically altered for the sake of conformity. The lesbians in Yurikuma Arashi express desire for the same sex (NSFW LINK) and this causes them to be excluded from the rest of society. Yurikuma Arashi is about stereotypes associated with lesbians and the pressure on them to conform to those stereotypes and how acceptance can break down oppressive hierarchies within a society that makes victims out of queer people.
Yurikuma Arashi can be streamed on Funimation.

Yagate Kimi ni Naru (Bloom Into You)

Bloom Into You is a recent anime and it's quickly asserted its position as one of the most influential works in the LGBTQ+ community. Yuu Koito, the protagonist of the anime is in love with the idea of love yet when a guy confesses to her, she realizes she's incapable of experiencing it herself. This changes when she meets Touko Nanami as both struggle to come to terms with their feelings for each other. Bloom Into You highlights how confusing your first relationship can be especially when you haven't quite figured yourself out yet.
Bloom Into You can be streamed on HIDIVE.

Aoi Hana (Sweet Blue Flowers)

Aoi Hana is about the struggles of being a young and confused lesbian. It's very down to earth with its portrayal of lesbian adolescence. Featuring a vibrant cast of characters, Aoi Hana is a go-to example for shows with explicit lesbian relationships.
Aoi Hana can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation. Description contributed by jayay112.

Simoun

Content warning
Lesbians going to war is an interesting premise to say the least. Simoun takes place in a reality where everyone is born female and chooses their permanent gender later on but in doing so, they lose the ability to fly the 'Simoun' which are aircrafts piloted by lesbian couples. Simoun thus creates a setting where the government is a matriarchy and young lesbians are the ones with the ability to go to war.
Simoun is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release.

Oniisama e... (Brother, Dear Brother)

Content Warning
Oniisama e... is a darker iteration of a Class S Yuri drama created by the iconic team-up of Osamu Dezaki and Riyoko Ikeda, who were also responsible for Rose of Versailles. It opens with the main character, Nanako Misonoo, getting inexplicably inducted into a Sorority at a prestigious girls school, which immediately opens her up to the jealous ire of her classmates as well as dives her head first into the complicated web of relationships between the most powerful girls at the school. The show takes a thorough look on heavy topics like bullying and drug abuse, albeit with a melodratic yet highly entertaining and stylized presentation, and is worth a watch if you are in the mood for a heavy drama.
Oniisama e... is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release. Description contributed by AdiMG

Asagao to Kase-san (Kase-san and Morning Glories)

Kase-san is a short and sweet romance OVA that is effectively a sequence of vignettes depicting the relationship of two girls with contrasting personalities. With lots of sweet and sugary moments, Kase-san is a short watch that will leave you feeling satisfied.
Kase-san can be streamed on HIDIVE.

Fragtime

Content warning
Fragtime is a recently released OVA from the director of Kase-san, Takuya Satou, that once again follows two girls with contrasting personalities. However, there's a supernatural aspect this time where one of the girls has the ability to stop time once a day for 3 minutes but the other girl is the only one immune to her ability. This leads to a lot more intimate moments between them. The relationship in Fragtime is more sexual and turbulent than the one in Kase-san but it still retains the director's personal flair. Let's hope Takuya Satou keeps blessing us with adaptations of more yuri works.
Fragtime is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Flip Flappers

Flip Flappers is a lesbian coming-out story with a mahou shoujo aesthetic. It's also a super creative show with fantastic visuals. As a work that's somewhat obtuse and abstract, there's an aspect of plausible deniability to its events. On the other hand, Papika and Cocona's relationship is clearly more than friends. Much of Flip Flappers is about identity formation and self-discovery. Papika gets the opportunity to try out various versions of herself while Cocona struggles to actualize her feelings. In the end, Papika realizes that the version of herself that she likes the most is the one that's in love with Cocona. In her own way, Cocona also comes to the realization that she loves Papika. Flip Flappers shows how healthy queer relationships can be born out of identity reaffirmation and having a strong sense of self.
Flip Flappers can be streamed on Crunchyroll and HIDIVE.

Sailor Moon S

You're telling me an 90's children show had an openly homosexual couple? Get out of here! Yes, Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune are a canonically lesbian couple. There's little to no plausible deniability to their relationship unlike some other queer people that appear throughout the series. Kunihiko Ikuhara has proved to be one of anime's most progressive directors and as an early work of his, Sailor Moon S is a shining example of his desire to give queer people more media representation. However, it should be noted that you need to get through the 2 earlier seasons of Sailor Moon before you get to S which is the third season.
Sailor Moon is available on Hulu. It also has a BD and DVD release.

Sasameki Koto (Whispered Words)

Whispered Words is a nice fluffy comedy that's about lesbians being comfortable around each other and having a lot of fun at school. It also has some light drama around the main character, who doesn't want to tell her best friend that she's in love with her. Overall, it's a very comfy show that makes for a very easy watch.
Sasameki Koto is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release. Description contributed by jayay112.

Strawberry Panic

Content Warning
Strawberry Panic is a 2000's anime set in an alliance of all-girls schools. Strawberry Panic takes its time explaining the governing of these schools. Throughout all the intrigue and personal drama, there's quite a few lesbian relationships strewn throughout the show but the cast is too large to do a good job at fleshing everyone out.
Strawberry Panic is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD and DVD release.

Hibike! Euphonium/Liz to Aoi Tori (Sound! Euphonium/Liz and the Blue Bird)

Hibike! Euphonium is a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to representation. Season 1 is applauded for its depiction of Kumiko and Reina's relationship while Season 2 is regarded as a betrayal of that relationship. Chikai no Finale, the sequel film, continues that status quo. However, Liz and the Blue Bird rebounds with its depiction of adolescent lesbian romance founded on mutual understanding and communication while establishing personal boundaries between two Hibike! side characters. Despite all its flaws, I recommend checking it out for the lesbian angst.
Hibike! Euphonium can be streamed on Crunchyroll.
Honourable Mentions: Akanesasu Shoujo, Maria-sama ga Miteru, Anima Yell, Revue Starlight, Diebuster, Kirakira☆Precure A La Mode, Oshi ga Budoukan Ittekuretara Shinu, Araburu Kisetsu no Otome-domo yo.

Anime With Gay Men

Yuri!!! on Ice

Talking about Yuri!!! on Ice in a write-up about pride and representation is inevitable. Sayo Yamamoto's work took the anime community by storm and introduced many people in the LGBTQ+ community to the anime/manga medium. It's one of the most successful anime original IPs to date and winner of multiple prestigious awards. Featuring a diverse and multicultural cast of characters around the globe, Yuri!!! on Ice is a sports anime about an unsuccessful figure skater on the verge of retirement getting the icon of the figure-skating world as his coach. Yuri!!! on Ice depicts a relationship between two men who gradually grow to care more about each other and overcome their weaknesses. Through Victor's help, Yuri is able to reinvent his image into one that's more assertive and less vulnerable than his previous persona. Another character, Yurio reinvents his image into one more traditionally feminine and vulnerable. Multiple characters have anxiety-fueled breakdowns and moments of weakness and despite that, they are accepted for who they are. Yuri!!! on Ice makes a statement that it's not wrong for men to be vulnerable or show weakness and that we all have different sides to ourselves that make up who we are. This denial of traditional gender roles and critique of toxic masculinity is what defines Yuri!!! on Ice and Sayo Yamamoto's personal outlook that's prevalent in all her works.
Yuri!!! on Ice can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Doukyuusei (Classmates)

Doukyuusei is a series of vignettes about the relationship between two classmates. Think Kase-san but with boys instead. It's fairly short and sweet while briefly touching on the difficulties of being homosexual in Japan.
Doukyuusei is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Given

Content warning
Given is a recent show that's notable for being a TV anime with explicit homosexual relationships. Revolving around a band with a mix of college and high school students, Given breathes life into the BL genre which can often be exploitative of gay men. BL in general needs more shows like Given to clear up the stigma that all BL is just fetish-bait.
Given can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Sarazanmai

Content warning
This list is full of Kunihiko Ikuhara works and Sarazanmai is his latest one. Aside from being another critique of oppressive societal structures, Sarazanmai features queer characters experimenting with their identity and an explicitly homosexual couple. More than anything, Sarazanmai is about the difficulty of loving someone of the same sex in a society where human connection and empathy put you at a disadvantage and the strong oppress the weak.
Sarazanmai can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Kono Danshi (This Boy) Franchise

Shoubi Yamamoto has been creating a series of short OVAs since 2011 at Makoto Shinkai's studio CoMix Wave Films, with each entry in the franchise being a short and sweet BL romance, often with adult characters. The stories are framed around supernatural twists that wouldn't be out of place in Monogatari or Bunny Girl Senpai, and despite their short runtime, these snippets ultimately leave the viewers satisfied at the end with their charming relationships and well-realized drama.
This Boy is a Professional Wizard and This Boy Suffers from Crystallization are available at Crunchyroll. This Boy Can Fight Aliens and This Boy Caught A Merman are available at HiDive. Description contributed by EyebrowScar and AdiMG.

No. 6

No. 6 is set in a post-war utopian world that isn't really a utopia but rather a society built on unjust peace. No. 6 highlights class differences and xenophobic attitudes while also featuring a gay relationship. Most of No. 6 plays out like a mystery with world-building rather than a romance but it's a good shout regardless.
No. 6 can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Banana Fish

Content Warning
Banana Fish is an influential 80's BL manga that has been adapted into an anime. The anime definitely feels like an 80's action flick. In many ways, it's a product of its time both in its depiction of abuse and its coy portrayal of Ash and Eiji's relationship.
Banana Fish can be streamed on Amazon Prime.

Mo Dao Zu Shi (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation)

Mo Dao Zu Shi is Chinese animation and by /anime's definition, does not qualify as anime. However, it's a BL by nature and takes place in the fictional Chinese setting of Wuxia where you have wizards and demons and the like. The show can be hard to follow and with its country of origin being China, you won't get anything explicit but there's a significant amount of undertones. Watch Mo Dao Zu Shi if you want a darker story with a backdrop of Chinese Martial Arts/Magic.
Mo Dao Zu Shi has no English release. However, it is getting a Japanese release soon.
Honourable Mention: Promare

Anime with Bisexual/Pansexual Characters

Shinsekai Yori (From the New World)

Content warning
Shinsekai Yori is a dystopia where psychic abilities in humans lead to widespread destruction until these humans are able to isolate themselves in a fragile peace. Shinsekai Yori follows the lives of a group of children as they uncover the truths and horrors of their world while also coming to terms with their own identities. Characters in Shinsekai Yori have explicit relationships with both sexes at different points and these relationships play an important role in the story.
Shinsekai Yori can be streamed on Crunchyroll and HIDIVE.

Kiznaiver

Kiznaiver isn't a show most people look back on very fondly. A TRIGGER anime with a script by Mari Okada, it's often cited as an example of when Okada goes overboard with her melodrama. However, it features a bisexual/pansexual character that receives her own character arc. The arc involves a same-sex relationship that's treated respectfully. The character gets into a heterosexual relationship later on. You could argue that it's queer erasure but I'd point at Okada's queer-friendly work, Hourou Musuko and tell you that this isn't the case. The character is either bi or pansexual.
Kiznaiver can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Hanamonogatari (Monogatari Series)

Monogatari is a straight harem for the most part and the bisexual character is part of that harem. However, there's an entire arc dedicated to her relationship with a girl and thus she's very explicitly established as a bisexual/pansexual character. The caveat of course is that this arc comes very late in the series.
Hanamonogatari can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

ACCA: 13-ku Kansatsu-ka (ACCA: 13-Territory Inspection Dept.)

ACCA flew under the radar when it aired despite being directed by the legendary Shingo Natsume It's a political drama with lots of intrigue but without any high-octane action or high-stakes battles. Instead, Jean Otus, the main character does inspections in different territories of the Kingdom of Dowa while highlighting their distinct cultures in the midst of rumours of a coup d'état. Jean is pretty gay for his buddy Nino but he's also taken in by Mauve. Though he doesn't get into any explicit relationship in the series, his behaviour definitely implies that he's bi or pansexual. At the very least, the show definitely gives you a lot of moments that imply that.
ACCA can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo

Gankutsuou is a 2000's anime that's inspired by the French novel in its name but is very much a retelling of that story. Particularly, I'm sure that the author would roll in his grave if he discovered how some of his characters were rewritten as queer. Gankutsuou features a bisexual character and for us bi people, that's a real fucking blessing honestly. We take the representation we get.
Gankutsuou can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Evangelion

Like some other works on this list, Evangelion's events are often obfuscated and much is left up to the viewer's interpretation. On the other hand, Shinji and Kaworu's relationship is an iconic aspect of Eva and since Shinji is also attracted to girls, he's definitely either bi or pansexual. While this isn't the aspect that would make most people get into Eva, it's definitely one that deserves to be mentioned.
Evangelion is available on Netflix. However, for various reasons, I recommend the BD or DVD release instead.

Anime with Transgender Characters

Hourou Musuko (Wandering Son)

Hourou Musuko is possibly the most important work on this list in regards to LGBTQ+ issues. It directly confronts the struggle of trans teenagers with gender dysphoria and how uncomfortable one can feel in their own body. Hourou Musuko can be difficult to watch because of how it painstakingly depicts the anguish of its characters all struggling with conflicting feelings but that's exactly what makes it such a good show. Life is difficult when you're forced to wear clothes you don't want to wear and your body and voice develop in ways that make you feel at odds with your own identity. The things that cisgender people take for granted can be hell for people born in the wrong body and Hourou Musuko is a step towards understanding that.
Hourou Musuko can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Tokyo Godfathers

Content Warning
Tokyo Godfathers is a classic film by Satoshi Kon. It plays out like your standard Christmas film with a series of coincidences leading to wacky and humorous situations. It's also a heartwarming story about the importance of found family, a family that includes a transgender character that wants to be a mother. Hana is portrayed in a positive light as a trans character that's very much part of the found family in Tokyo Godfathers. Possibly the most empathetic character in the whole film, Hana drives most of the plot. Tokyo Godfathers portrays the harsh life of homeless people and the fact that one of these homeless people is transgender is important because of the disproportionate number of homeless transgender people around the world.
Tokyo Godfathers is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD and DVD release.

Paradise Kiss

Content Warning
Paradise Kiss is a 2000's josei anime about the romance between an aspiring model and fashion design student. The characters wear all sorts of fabulous clothes but the most fabulous of them all is a trans girl called Isabella. ParaKiss depicts the importance of trans acceptance and how important it can be for trans people to wear the clothes that they want to wear. As most of ParaKiss is about expressing oneself through clothes and making clothes that suit the person, Isabella's attire downright makes her an icon for femininity.
Paradise Kiss is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release.

Stop!! Hibari-kun!

While this is a slapstick comedy where the main character is referred to as a cross-dresser rather than explicitly transgender, it comes very close to genuine trans rep. It might even be one of the first anime/manga works with trans rep. Hibari is implied to be identifying as a girl and the male lead eventually realizes that he is in love with the Hibari who presents as female but is biologically male. The mangaka also stated that the character was created out of their own frustration for not being born as a girl. While there are naturally caveats that you'd expect from an 80's work, Hibari is never the butt of any jokes and actively fights back against transphobic remarks. Although Stop!! Hibaru-kun! (note the -kun, even the title genders Hibari) was progressive for its time, it stands to be repeated that it is quite dated by today's standards. Nevertheless, if you're up for it, it's still one of the few well-intentioned depictions of a trans-coded character in anime.
Stop!! Hibari-kun! is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release.

Lovely★Complex

Lovely Complex is a shoujo romcom about two characters (a tall woman and a short man) who are uncomfortable with their height. While most of the show is about them getting past their complex to form a relationship, there's also a trans character that falls in love with the main guy. She insists that God just put her in the wrong body and even though her love is unrequited, she is treated with respect.
Lovely Complex can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Zombieland Saga

Zombieland Saga has a fairly outlandish premise and for the most part, it's also a pretty outlandish show. Most people that watched it probably still remember the more bizarre moments from the show or Mamoru Miyano's performance as the Manager. Zombieland Saga is a fun ride in the beginning but it gradually gets more stale as it goes on. However, it depicts a transgender character literally dying and becoming a zombie due to gender dysphoria. Lily's trans identity was initially vehemently denied by anime fans and blamed on translators but since then, she's been accepted as a legitimate and positive portrayal of a transgender character in anime.
Zombieland Saga can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Anime with Queer People/Queer Identities

Shoujo Kakumei Utena (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

Content Warning
Utena is a landmark work in the LGBTQ+ community. It's Kunihiko Ikuhara's first work where he directly addresses the systemic oppression of queer people in society and the hierarchical structures that feed on the impoverished. The show constantly eludes to a revolution that can 'change the world' (empowerment for women and racial/sexual minorities) and as the show goes on, it progressively becomes less obtuse and more explicit in what that revolution is and who the real oppressors really are. The show includes many queer characters with tragic backgrounds. Often, their identities have been altered or taken away from them by toxic and oppressive people in their lives. The relationship between Utena and Anthy starts out as rather vague and confusing as Ikuhara obfuscates the events in the show but ends decisively on a strong note.
Utena can be streamed on Funimation.

Versailles no Bara (Rose of Versailles)

Set during the French Revolution, Rose of Versailles is an old classic that has much to offer in not just its queer rep but also in its depiction of historical events. An important work in its portrayal of gender-queer characters of different sexualities and subversion of traditional gender roles, it's also considered the inspiration and precursor for Revolutionary Girl Utena, a show also on this list. Regardless of how you feel about its more dated aspects, its influence on other queer anime/manga is undeniable. I highly recommend checking this one out if you haven't.
Rose of Versailles is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a remastered BD release and a DVD release.

Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine

Content warning
Before going on to make Yuri!!! on Ice, Sayo Yamamoto directed two other series where she had full creative control. One of them was Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine. Sayo Yamamoto reinvents Fujiko Mine as a more nuanced character with agency of her own while reworking her relationships with the men around her to be much more interesting. Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine has been praised for tackling silenced queer narrative and features a more queer-coded depiction of many of its characters.
Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Hoshiai no Sora (Stars Align)

Content Warning
I've written at length about Hoshiai no Sora before. Hoshiai features one of the most honest and down-to-earth portrayals of a non-binary character you can find in anime and how important it can be to have your feelings validated by someone you care about.
Hoshiai no Sora can be streamed on Funimation.

Ribbon no Kishi (Princess Knight)

Princess Knight is a 50's manga penned by Osamu Tezuka and it's usually one of the first cited examples of queer manga. It also has an anime adaptation with a mere 700 MAL members at the time of writing this. Dated visuals aside, Princess Knight is another gender-queer work about a baby being born with 2 hearts (gender identities) and thus, the 'Princess Knight' dresses as both male and female at different points throughout the story. The narrative plays with gender roles and queer relationships while also acknowledging the hetero-normative society it is set in. It's a remarkable work for its time and one that deserves to be remembered as a major milestone for anime/manga.
Princess Knight is available to stream on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Ouran Koukou Host Club (Ouran High School Host Club)

Ouran Host Club is a 2000's shoujo classic that plays out like a parody of shoujo tropes. Its comedy holds up even today although some aspects of it do feel quite dated. For a 2000's show though, Ouran was much more progressive than a lot of shows even today. The main character, Haruhi Fujioka cross-dresses and defies gender expectations by using masculine pronouns and entertaining other girls who visit the Host Club in a boys uniform. Haruhi is pretty unconcerned with what gender she is viewed as and most of her interactions with the Host Club boys happen while she is crossdressing.
Ouran Host Club can be streamed on Funimation.

Hugtto! Precure

The PreCure franchise has often featured intimate relationships between characters of the same sex. Some of these have been more explicit than others. Hugtto! PreCure, winner of the 2019 /anime Awards had a biologically male, gender-fluid character transform into the first male Cure in the history of the franchise. Hugtto! Precure makes a statement that boys can be princesses too and pushes back against the gendered concept of a magical girl in a franchise that's often dismissed as being for little girls.
Hugtto! Precure is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Cardcaptor Sakura

Cardcaptor Sakura is a 90's mahou shoujo classic that was well ahead of its time. Characters in CCS express interest in people of both genders. There's also quite a bit of crossdressing and a canonically gay couple later on. Characters in CCS defy gender stereotypes and this leads to one of the most nuanced and human character writing you can find in mahou shoujo anime. It's a fun ride all the way through that's really worth a watch.
Cardcaptor Sakura can be streamed on Netflix, Crunchyroll, Funimation and Amazon Prime.

Houseki no Kuni (Land of the Lustrous)

The gems in Houseki no Kuni are gendered by the community because they're voiced by female seiyuu. However, they're fairly androgynous for the most part and don't really fall under either classification. Much of Houseki revolves around Phosphophyllite's desire to rebuild themselves anew and a dissatisfaction with the body they were born with. Houseki no Kuni is a full CG anime but the CG is quite excellent, leading to bombastic set pieces that would be difficult to do hand-drawn.
Houseki no Kuni can be streamed on Amazon Prime and HIDIVE.

Kino no Tabi (Kino's Journey)

Kino from Kino no Tabi is an androgynous character that uses both pronouns at different points in the story. Kino's actual gender identity is left ambiguous but they're either gender-fluid or non-binary. Indeed, Kino doesn't have to identify as either gender when they're already a self-identified traveler. As an impartial observer, Kino does not wish to interfere with the affairs of countries they visit. Kino no Tabi is a fairly episodic albeit darker slice of life about how harsh and beautiful the world can be.
Kino no Tabi can be streamed on HIDIVE. Please spare yourself from watching the 2017 remake.

Gatchaman Crowds

Gatchaman Crowds is a fairly niche sentai show with explicitly queer and queer-coded characters. As a whole, it's certainly an acquired taste for people who aren't into the whole tokutatsu/sentai subculture. It's a campy show for the most part with some underlying social commentary so give it a try and see if it's to your liking.
Gatchaman Crowds can be streamed on Crunchyroll and HIDIVE.

11-nin Iru! (They Were Eleven)

They Were Eleven is a gripping locked room mystery written by one of the pioneers of Shoujo manga, Moto Hagio. It uses its sci-fi setting to explore various societal conceptions of gender, but the most culturally enduring has to be her description of Frol. Frol hails from a planet without any concept of pre-pubescent gender but the planet's people are assigned a gender role later on in their life. Frol rails against their planet's customs and instead identifies as male despite their feminine presentation. The potent gender politics add another layer of tension to the already simmering plot of an underrated 80s movie.
They Were Eleven is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release. Description provided by AdiMG.

Samurai Flamenco

Samurai Flamenco is another fairly niche sentai/tokutatsu show that's more of a meta take on the genre. Samumenco is a bizarre show with a very specific comedy style that you will either love or hate. It's also very queer-coded and includes explicit same-sex relationships.
Samurai Flamenco can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Kuragehime (Princess Jellyfish)

Kuragehime revolves around a group of female otaku NEETs living a communal life. The main character has an encounter with a beautiful woman who really isn't a woman but actually a cross-dressing man named Kuranosuke. Kuranosuke identifies as male but frequently cross-dresses. Kuragehime contrasts the more androgynous Kuranosuke who possesses both masculine and feminine characteristics with the main character, Kurashita Tsukimi. Kuragehime poses a question of whether it's possible for people like Tsukimi to transform into a beautiful princess like Kuranosuke does and whether they can overcome their anxiety and lack of self-esteem to find happiness.
Kuragehime can be streamed on Funimation.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun is a romcom anime that parodies shoujo manga and its tropes. It plays on the gendered expectations of shoujo manga and makes fun of them by having its characters behave in a manner that defies those expectations. Kashima Yuu regularly flirts with other girls although she's actively into her male senpai. Seo Yuzuki regularly behaves in a boyish manner. In a vacuum, this behaviour isn't remarkable but when it's contrasted with gender expectations in shoujo manga, it leads to hilarious fourth wall breaking moments.

Beyond Anime: Shimanami Tasogare

Manga can be a fairly diverse medium and has many queer stories that haven't yet been adapted into anime. While this is an anime subreddit, I can't help but mention Shimanami Tasogare (Our Dreams at Dusk), a work that encapsulates why representation is important for queer people and why events like Pride Month matter so much. It's about a gay teenage boy that experiences discrimination after being outed involuntarily. On the verge of suicide, he finds a cafe that's frequented by other queer people. By talking to them and relating his experiences to theirs, he begins to accept himself. It's important for queer people to be understood, to have someone they can look up to and talk about. The LGBTQ+ community exists to raise awareness about these issues and to tell young people that these feelings that they're experiencing aren't something to be scared of, that their experiences are relatable and that it's alright to consider these feelings as a part of their identity. Although the world at large may not accept them, there's a community of people out there that will.
What is your favourite LGBTQ+ inclusive anime? Share in the comments below!
submitted by JoseiToAoiTori to anime [link] [comments]

Weird Relationship Milestones! - YouTube Relationship Milestones Weird Relationship Milestones That Mean A Lot eHarmony TV ad - Relationship Milestones Relationships: One Month Vs. One Year

Milestones are the events, big or small, that lead a relationship in a new direction. They mark the first time something is done, something that makes you both a little more comfortable. While every relationship has milestones, long-term ones have more, just because there’s more time together. As with everything else related to relationships — first dates, first kisses, different levels of sexual intimacy, and so on — the six-month milestone can either feel seismically important or Written by Writer’s Corps member Felicia Lin We’ve all heard of the traditional relationship milestones: meeting the parents, the first year anniversary, moving in together, getting married, buying a house together, and raising kids together. Once you’re in a solid relationship, you might find yourself thinking about these things, but let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. While relationship milestones and their timelines can help you navigate your relationship, your relationship is not a failure if these milestones are not met. Each couple’s relationship is unique and this list is meant to help you see if there is something missing or if you are checking in about something with your partner. There are plenty of relationship milestones that couples tend to remember: the first kiss, the first date, the first time you met your partner’s parents. But there are plenty of things that only

[index] [99] [34] [76] [76] [76] [23] [69] [81] [88] [97]

Weird Relationship Milestones! - YouTube

That's the verdict of a newly-created relationship timeline which highlights the perfect time to hit new milestones and suggest that three dates before hitting the sack is a thing of the past. There are certain milestones all significant others reach that cement their relationship status, and while we wouldn't classify them as romantic, they are hilarious. Our favorite couples are back ... A pioneer in using relationship science to match singles based on compatibility, eHarmony has been available in Australia since 2007. In that time it has been responsible for more than 25,000 ... HOW WE MET When God Writes your Love Story Ronnie and Mel - Duration: 17:09. Ronnie and Mel Recommended for you This video is about Weird relationship milestones. All these stages are crucial to advancing a relationship forward. If you're not in a relationship just look at your friends around you who are in relationships you can definitely relate. These things may look simple but they are very important in the over all dating process.