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Need advice, dating a nice Filipina woman
I don't post often about my personal life around here but this is too big for me to be casual about it and I really want to do all the right things.
We met on a dating app (ya, I know) but she is truly a diamond in the rough. She has amazing values, gorgeous, educated, everything a guy could ask for.
I want to ensure a few things, namely keeping her interested in me, providing value in her life, making sure she keeps coming back for more, without me bugging her all the time. The last thing I want is she finds me pushy or bugging her too often so I am pacing myself and taking it slow.
Going to finally meet her in person Friday. It takes every ounce of me to not message / call her ...
Need dating advice: I'm Half-Chinese, Half-Italian. She's a pure Filipina.
Hey guys, I posted this over in /relationship_advice, but decided to make a post here because of the cultural aspect that I feel the audience here has a better hang of. Hope you don't mind the cross posting.
Huge wall of incoming text.
So I'm 27, male, and currently living in the Philippines. I'm from New York, but since I've family over here (I'm half Chinese), I've decided to help out with the family business and see what I can learn/do for myself.
I've met a girl online, from 4chan of all places, and she lives around a 5-hour drive south of me. She's 23, a local, has a little boy, and has a huge geek streak to her. Let's call her Jane. We've been friends for a year and a half and the topic of feelings only recently popped up (last night, even). I feel that I really can be myself around her and we share a lot of interests. I care for her greatly. The problem is mainly something that comes from my family--I am living with the Chinese side of my family. Being from the US, I don't really understand the "great wall", but have heard of it from friends and am about to experience it myself.
My family, despite their conservative/traditional views, mean a lot to me. I'm currently managing the family company live in the same compound as my aunt and uncle (who own the company). They treat me as their own son and obviously have my best intentions at heart, despite the difference in views at times. They've once adopted me when I was younger before sending me back to my biological mother in the US for schooling.
Last night, Jane mentioned she was going to watch a movie on Saturday. I asked with whom, she said to her friends. She asked if I'd be jealous if it was just a guy, and I jokingly said that I'd do a massive background check if there is a guy just to make sure he's a good pick. She got sad over that, and after some back and forth, I figured I might as well tell her that I liked her as well (I sort of had a feeling that she liked me). However, I couldn't decide what to do with my family. My family isn't as narrow minded as most Chinese families in that they wouldn't care about the race of the person I'm dating.. If other criteria check out--comes from a good family (still together, decent income), respectable occupation, no children from other relationships. Jane's family isn't exactly stable, she has a 3 year old boy, and works as a programmer (that's fine).
I told her that it'd be better if she didn't wait for me because I'm stalling. I'm pretty much torn between my feelings for her and for my family as well. I don't want to disappoint them and neither do I want to subject Jane to the harsh judgment/standards of my family since she doesn't fit their criteria. I figured that if I couldn't decide then what to do with my feelings and whether I should fight for a relationship, that it'd be better to let her go. She was devastated. It tore me apart watching her unravel in sadness. She hasn't once got mad at me, as much as I wanted her to. I wanted her to hate me and block me, but she wouldn't. It even got to the point where she said that she's okay with nothing ever happening and "not being wanted", as long as she can still talk to me until "another girl" comes along.
I only started thinking about the possibility of a relationship and the hurdles around two weeks ago. I probably should not have sent that letter and let it brew in my head a bit longer before doing anything, but that's done. We're going to talk again tonight, but what do you guys think I should do about this? Any advice or suggestions? I know the vast majority of posters here are from the US--I am as well, but there's a cultural barrier of sorts between the Chinese and Filipinos when it comes to relationships.
TL;DR I fell in love with my friend. She has a kid. My family is traditional/conservative and her race(culture)/child is not a welcome scenario. I told her not to wait as I am stalling since I don't know what to do about the situation. She was gravely hurt. We're going to talk again tonight; any suggestions welcome.
Advice on dating Filipinas?
What is up with that?
EDIT: I'm an older white jew-ish dude.
Experience of a Ricecel
"Ricecel living in Southwest Indiana. Chinese father. Filipina mother. Father died when I was 10. White stepfather came into the picture 2 years later, along with his alcohol and abuse problems. Only Ricecel living in my town. Currently still living with my parents as long as I give half of my income to them as rent.
Physical Stats: Age: 36. Height: 5'4 (last annual doctor's appointment 4 months ago). Weight: 129 lbs. with 15% Body Fat as of writing (via FitBit Scale). Was 127 at my annual checkup. Wrist Circumference: 6 in. measured with measuring tape. Dick (Length x Girth): 3 in. x 3 in. measured with measuring tape. Job: Wal-Mart Cashier.
Can't grow any facial hair. Have the Asian bucktooth overbite. If you don't know what that is, google any Chinese Exclusion Act cartoon back then in the 1880-90s. My family never had the money to get me braces. Voicecel bc my voice sounds gay and with a heavy lisp due to the way my lower face is developed (also recorded my own voice to verify). Eyelid height approx. 1/8 of an inch measured with a measuring tape. Flat nose. Receding hairline AND bald spot. Crow's feet and dark circles. Developing wrinkles on forehead.
Sex stats: KHHV. Never went to high school parties (never invited because who would lol) or dances (forget prom; not that anyone would accept my prom request or anyone would dance with me at HS dances). Went to community college. Never attended any college party. I never had a girl grind her ass on me, so I don't even know what another foid's ass feels like (forget tits). In fact, my parents never kissed me on the cheek as far as I remember, not even as a young boy (maybe as a baby but even that is debatable. Can't ask my mother now because she doesn't talk to me anymore). My only "real" sexual experience? My white stepfather was fucking my mother with the bedroom door open, as my mother screamed how big his cock was. That's the only sexual experience I have. Currently doing self-therapy right now as I have been getting off to too much WMAF porn in the past.
Dating stats: None. Zero. Zip. Used Tinder for 5 years. Bumble for 3. No Tinder or Bumble matches within 100 (Tinder) or 250 (Bumble) miles of my home. No Tinder matches even with Passport, or Bumble matches with Travel, even in "Asian enclaves" like San Francisco, Los Angeles, and NYC. My mother is Filipina, and tried putting my Tinder Passport in Manila, Davao, and Cebu (no luck because duh), and tried other Asian countries like Bangkok, Shanghai, and Seoul. No matches. I even have a pic with a dog on it because every single fucking dating article says having that pic increases your chances of matching, but I'm pretty sure all the women around me think I'm just prepping it for a meal or some shit.
My former delusional cope: I tried to find self-esteem going on cam sites. Some told me I'm handsome, but when I ask honestly what they think of me, they go "average" 5/10, which translates to 0/10 because cam models prop your self-esteem up to keep you coming back and visiting and spending money on you. This is the only thing going for me right now, but shit is expensive. Yes. It had gotten to THAT point. I'm off of that cope now and just sticking to gardening and nature shit, but I'm sharing this because so I can encourage others to forgive themselves and move on from their cringey experiences too.
I cope and try to be positive and say positive things to myself. Try to engage politically, socially, etc. I try to help others out if they have questions. However, how can you be confident and positive when LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE WORLD THINKS YOU'RE UGLY AND MASK IT AND SAY YOU'RE "CUTE" IN ORDER TO MAKE NOT ME, but THEM FEEL BETTER??
I'm angry. I'm hurt. This world is so cruel. I wish Asian men were sex symbols in Hollywood and entertainment, but that means another race would be left out, and as someone who tries to have a pure heart, I don't want other races to suffer the hurt I'm going through. Is this the burden put on me? To carry this enormous weight so others can be sexually free?
"But riceronicel, there's always someone out there for you!"
FUCK YOU AND ANYONE WHO DARES SAY THAT TO MY FACE. THAT'S JUST FOIDS' WAY OF TELLING ME THAT I'M NOT GOOD FOR THEM. IF THERE'S "SOMEONE" OUT THERE, THEN WHY don't YOU MAKE AN EFFORT YOU FUCKING FOID?!?!
Every day I go on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Facebook, or any other social media platform, all I see are Stacys dating white, black, or Hispanic Chads or Normies. You NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, see ANY, I repeat, ANY Stacy even be IMPLIED, let alone SEEN, in a PLATONIC pic together with a RICE, let alone these social media platforms EVER PROMOTE IT. FORGET RELATIONSHIPS. FORGET MARRIAGES. FORGET FAMILIES.
I'm convinced of something that sounds outrageous to the conventional mind, but I can't help but think this is extremely true. There must be a reason why Hollywood celebrities, entertainers, and supermodels/IG models never have relationships with ANY Asian man (let alone interracial relationships involving Asian men), even the Changs. It's definitely not that they're unavailable, which makes ZERO sense because Los Angeles, the Chad/Stacy entertainment capital of the world and No. 1 destination for all IG Chads/Stacys, has one of the highest concentrations of Rice men in the USA, AND they earn on average a higher income than any other race in the ENTIRE country. My theory? It's because being seen with a Rice is a MARKETING/SPONSORSHIP KILLER. You're seen holding hands with a Rice and that shit gets posted on TMZ? Get ready to lose sponsorships, fans, and revenue. You think I'm crazy? Look what the fuck happened to Lorde. She dated a 2/10 Rice with no jaw or chin and everyone mocked her for it. Even Tyler the Creator thought the entire thing was fucking hilarious. Her music career withered out. They broke up, but by that point it was too late for her. Her career was shot and she has been thrown back into obscurity and irrelevancy. We haven't seen her around since.
It makes me SO ANGRY that these so many of these foids LOVE Rice culture, the "peacefulness," "harmony," "food," of which they only like Japanese hibachi and sushi, Chinese take-out, and maybe one or two select dishes from Korea, Thailand, and Vietnam, and other boo hoo shit like dragons and coconut trees, but hate the men that live there, provide for the culture, and keep it alive until their dying breath. Every Stacy loves a man who can cook because she has no ability to do anything herself...unless it's a hibachi chef, then these Stacy's love the skills and food but not the chef. Same with a sushi chef. I mean let's be honest. When's the last time you heard any foid say they want to have loving intercourse with a HIBACHI/SUSHI CHEF? NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. Everyone likes a badass samurai, but the only samurai the west knows? WHEN TOM FUCKING CRUISE WAS ON IT. What? You think foids want to go gaga for Ken Watanabe? Donnie Yen? Yeah, fuck off. Everyone thinks a karate master is cool. Ever heard anyone want to have sex with one? FUCK NO.
LMAO what, you think that K-Pop gay shit group BTS is changing the scene for ricecels like me? First off, no offense, but have you seen their fans? They are the same stereotypical foids who get bullied for being ugly and fat, and so find refuge in anime and K-Pop. Not even Beckys like K-Pop. They are usually smelly fucking land whales that are into that shit. If, god forbid, a Stacy is into BTS/K-Pop, then she hides it from her friends so she doesn't lose popularity. Stacy's in their high school years like One Direction, Justin Bieber, Shawn Mendes, or some white country singer like Kenny Chesney, Jason Aldean, or Florida Georgia Line (where I'm from anyway). If it's a celebrity/high-profile Stacy showing love to them, like Camila Cabello, then it's not because they're genuinely attracted to Rice, but because the BTS fanbase is one of the most active on the Internet, so it's solely for cross fandom and revenue. Nothing more. Even the "most popular" Rice group out here getting BETABUXXED. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! LOLOL you think Camila Cabello fawning over BTS when a Chad like Shawn Mendes is at her beck and call? Fuck no. That's why she chose the white Chad over a gay rice e-boy group.
Oh, you think that shitty rom-com Asian movie Crazy Rich Asians will help me? First off, Hollywood has indirectly told me that full Rice are never good enough for the big screen. That's why they cast a fucking hapa Chang as the fucking lead. The hapa with numerous white features. You don't believe me? Open 2 tabs on your browser. The first one, google "Asian man." The second, google "Henry Golding," and then tell me if he looks like a Rice.
Even then, tell me the last time some non-Asian bitch fell head over heels for Henry Golding. I'll wait. He was named People's Sexiest Man Alive so the magazines could fill a racial quota, not because he's actually good-looking lololol fuck no. And then you sit and think any foid will fall for a fucking full 100% RICE?! NOPE.
And the worst part? These Stacys don't even hate us openly. They act indifferent on the outside but despise us with the burning desire of a thousand suns in their hearts. That's the worst part. I wish they would just be unfiltered and say Asian men are butt fuck ugly and would never want to even be in the same hemisphere as them, that we're sexless and never deserve to reproduce with them. But this world of political correctness prevents everyone from telling their deepest, darkest feelings. This is the media's way to keep us down. Because if the true thoughts came out, then there would probably be some similar movement to a Black Lives Matter and by that point media cannot afford to ignore us. Hence, to keep us down in the well of sexless hell, they're quiet about it. Never talk about it. Thus, we don't exist in the mind of the foid, and our issues will never be talked about.
Sometimes I wish the West went to war with the East. At least our population and future generations would be saved from the embarrassment everyone else gives us. China has a surplus of men as a result of the disastrous one-child policy implemented by the Chinese government many decades ago. At least many will die with the idea of fighting for their country instead of dying alone having never touched the hand of a foid. Japan has 50 and 60 year old virgins everywhere now, decreasing their population, all because of what? The unrealistic expectation the foids over there have of their own men. Korea, unless you go under the knife to looksmax, you will be forever sexless. Filipinas only love white men, and so do all SEA countries. There's a reason why that dumb show 90 Day Fiance has a fat whitey named Ed with a no neck syndrome getting a filipina girl and you never see any Rice in ANY reality TV show in the west.
It's over for me. It's BEEN over for me. It never began. My father died when I was 10. My Filipina white cock whore mother married the most abusive white man I have ever met in my life. He would whip me for not doing something right (yes you read that right. He WHIPPED me) and beat me with a metal wrench, which I carry the scars to this day (and the numerous bald spots on my head from the beatings).
Hopefully my story and the wisdom I have picked up from my shitty life can help some of you in here to succeed and become the best version of yourselves. I just joined this forum so forgive me as I'm still tinkering around here a little. I have given some looksmax advice, and currently doing a jawzrsize trial which I just crossed half a month.
If you got this far thanks for reading"
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